Page 13
“Hello, dear.” I heard her bright, warm voice on the line, and I was instantly put at ease. She always had that effect on me. Her words reminded me of when I was a kid, of the feeling I got every time I walked into a room and saw her face light up as if I were the most important person in the world to her.
I sank into an overstuffed chair and let my body relax.
“Dad and I just wanted to check in to see how you’re doing.”
I was confused at first. Had I mentioned the breakup to my mom? I was fairly certain I hadn’t, and there was no one else she could have heard it from. I must have paused too long, because she continued with an explanation. “You know, we’ve been worried because of the flu that’s going around?”
“Flu?”
“It’s all over the news. Haven’t you heard about it?” she asked, her tone incredulous.
“Oh, yeah, of course,” I replied. The rumors about the new flu hadn’t been at the top of my list of concerns. I’d been too caught up in my own misery to pay much attention, but her reminder made me think about Em’s invite, and I selfishly hoped I could use the excuse to beg off.
“Well, we were concerned,” she continued. “It’s not too bad here on the West Coast yet, but you and Mark might want to head up to our cabin if things get worse in the city.”
Ah, yes. I hadn’t told her after all, but now didn’t seem like the right time. I wasn’t sure why I didn’t want to tell my mom about Mark. Maybe it was the bill I’d just received. Maybe it felt too new, too raw. Maybe I was a bit ashamed. My parents had been together since college and were convinced that every person I dated was “the one.” At the end of the day, I didn’t want to disappoint them again.
“It’s nice of you to offer, but the flu hasn’t hit the city yet. Besides, I have work. I can’t just go to the mountains.”
“Well, you guys should think about it. Dad and I are probably fine here. We’ll avoid crowds for a while. They say it spreads quickly, but hopefully that means it will be over quickly, too.” That was just like my parents. They were very considerate but tended to overreact, especially when their only child was involved.
“Thanks, Ma. We’ll think it over. I promise. How are you doing?”
The question launched her into a forty-minute conversation about everything that had happened in my parents’ lives over the past few weeks. It was wonderful. I sat back and listened, enjoying the rhythm of her speech as she described her latest battle with the raccoon that had moved into their tool shed. She was losing, but I had to admire her tenacity and restraint. She was determined to convince the animal to leave through cunning rather than violence. Dad, on the other hand, wanted to declare war. Their differing approaches made me smile. My parents were opposites in many ways, yet perfectly suited to one another.
After nearly an hour, exhaustion tugged at me, and I gently ended the call, said goodnight, and promised to call them soon. I stood up and went back to the kitchen, intending to make myself something to eat. My eyes caught on the bill on the table, and my gut twisted. I looked down at the phone in my hand. The right thing to do was to text Mark and demand that he pay for it himself.
My shoulders dropped, and I tucked the phone into my pocket. I’d pay it. It was easier that way. Less messy. I turned around, snagged my suit jacket off the chair, and went upstairs, skipping dinner. It was late, and I didn’t have the energy or the stomach for food.
I undressed and tossed my jacket and slacks onto the side of the bed where Mark usually slept. I looked at the clothes lying there, taking up space, and decided to leave them. Somehow, it made me feel better, as if the clothes were weighing down that side of the bed, holding space, or maybe making it feel less empty. On impulse, I tossed a few folded sweaters onto the pile and nodded, satisfied.
After getting ready for bed, I crawled under the covers on the other side and turned out the light. Rolling onto my side, I felt the duvet’s resistance, pinned down by the clothing, and pain flared in my chest. But with the pain came the realization that it wasn’t really about Mark. It was loneliness. The craving was for companionship, not the man himself. I missed being held, touched, and needed.
I blew out a breath. It said a lot about me that I had so much trouble being alone. It was time to grow up. I tried to think of the people in my life I cared about. I thought of Emily and my mother’s phone call, and I reminded myself that the house might be empty, but my life was still full of people who loved me. The thought made me feel better, and the ache in my chest eased as I drifted off.
5
VINCENT
About a week after my encounter with the would-be thieves, I awoke from a deep, satisfied sleep and prepared for another night of playing the monster. Over the intervening nights, I’d repeated variations on the same theme: I hunted, I drank deeply, and I loved every minute of it. I pulled at their throats until I cradled my unconscious prey in my arms, feeling their strength flow through me.
In the back of my mind, I understood I was playing too close to the edge. I was in dangerous territory. A vampire who fully gave in to his nature could easily tip over the edge into something wild, dark, and uncontrollable. But I told myself I would stop before reaching that point. I was in command of myself. Besides, it was mostly the very young who couldn’t control their impulses. The very young and the very old, the voice in the back of my head reminded me.
Legend had it that vampires were immortal, and perhaps we technically were, but I had never known one to survive longer than three hundred years. Too much changed; there were too many advances and social shifts. Our kind wasn’t good at adapting on an individual level. Vampires carried their ideals, attitudes, and faults from their human lives. The young, while infuriating, were best suited to the present age. Change was accelerating faster than ever. Advanced technology, social isolation, globalization, and digital communities were among the phenomena I couldn’t grasp. These new vampires were all so busy yet didn’t seem to accomplish anything. They knew what was happening worlds away, but they were so caught up in their own lives. It boggled the mind.
I was out of touch. I could admit that much, but I wasn’t quite old yet. No, I was merely stretching my legs. I was returning to my roots and letting go of some of my more annoying social connections. And it felt good. I’d successfully avoided my kind all week and had no immediate plans to reconnect.
Unbolting the heavy door to my room, I found Karl waiting on the other side. He stood with a tablet in hand and a serious expression on his face.
“Sir, I need to talk to you before you go out.”
I groaned inwardly. Some obligations were beginning to wear on me, however. “I’m afraid I don’t have the time. Just leave whatever you have on my desk,” I said, brushing past Karl.
“I have, sir. However, you don’t seem to be receiving your messages, and several matters require your attention. It will only take a moment, sir.”
“Not now. I’ll deal with it later,” I said, irritation creeping into my voice. The man was only doing his job, but the urge to leave was powerful, and I wasn’t going to let anything get in my way. I walked to the front door at a pace nearly too fast for Karl to keep up, but forced myself to slow to a human speed. I grabbed the handle and wrenched the door open just as Karl came around the corner, continuing to press his case.
“Sir, I must insist. There are important matters to discuss and documents that require signing. If you only give me a minute of your time.”