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“Let me guess. Someone broke your heart so you refuse to get involved?”
“That’s not possible.” He pumped his fist against his chest.
“So, why not settle?”
He scowled. “It’s that word. Settle. Why should I settle for anything?”
“I don’t mean compromise. I mean, find someone you want to be with. Someone who makes you a better alien.”
“Better alien? I’m fine with the way I am.”
“I didn’t say you weren’t.” She fiddled with a control button. “Doesn’t it get boring, sticking to the shallows?”
“You’ve lost me. My translator must be faulty.”
“You know what I mean.”
His quietness made her wonder if she’d overstepped the mark. Not that she should be digging into this topic. After all, there was nothing happening between them. How long could she tell herself that lie and get away with it?
Striker shunted forward in his seat. “I’ve seen it before. Guys get involved with someone they think is special, someone they might even settle for, and something goes wrong.”
“One of them cheats?”
“No. They get called away on a mission and have to hide things from their woman. She gets angry because of all the secrecy. It causes a barrier. Screws things up.”
She nodded. “It must have been hard to get close to someone when you were in the elite squad for fear that something bad could happen.”
He examined one of the control panels. “Yeah, that too.”
“Is that why you left the squad?”
Striker stared out through the cracked glass. “Maybe. You try to keep your distance, but it’s impossible. When you’re in a squad like that, it’s your team against the world. At least, that’s what it felt like. I was closer to them than my family.”
“You trust each other. You’ve got someone watching your back, whatever happens.”
“It was always like that. I never had a second of doubt that I could rely on anyone in that squad. We trained hard, we fought hard, and we never lost a battle. Until...” Striker’s shoulders rolled forward.
Wren was holding her breath. It was the first time he’d opened up about his time in the elite squad. “What happened?”
“We had a traitor on the inside. They fed us false intel, took us into the middle of a kill zone, and left us to die. Twelve of us went in, three of us got out.”
Her heart spasmed. “I’m so sorry, Striker.”
“That’s when you learn the real value of not forming attachments to anyone. Try explaining what happened to a grieving widow. She’s not going to understand that’s part of the job. They always think their guy will be the exception.”
The pain etched on his face made her want to weep. She rested a hand gently on his knee. “Did you find out who betrayed you?”
“Yeah, I had an idea. The guy’s dead now. He won’t betray anyone ever again.”
“Did you...”
“No, I didn’t kill him. If I’d found him, I would. He was killed in the crossfire. He sacrificed himself for whatever fucked up mission he was on.”
“You shouldn’t shut yourself off from happiness. Bad things happen, but if you close the door to other possibilities, you don’t know what you’re missing.”
He shifted his knee away from her hand and grunted. “I won’t miss risking ripping someone’s heart out when I get killed.”
“As you’ve said, you’re the best at what you do. What makes you think you’re going to die?”
