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Sinead raised her gaze. “What happened to your sister?”
Holly grinned. “That’s a story and a half. The short version is that my sister, Penny, is so driven. Whatever she does, she has to be at the top of her game. She studied for years to become a lawyer. She turned down twelve proposals of marriage because it got in the way of her getting to the top of the firm she worked in. She made partner, earned a fortune, and lived in the swankiest apartment I’ve ever seen.”
“Why would I not want to be like that? Penny sounds amazing.”
Holly chuckled. “She’s that all right. Here’s the thing. Penny has an interesting way to get her kicks, and she never turns down a challenge.”
Sinead turned in her seat. “Her kicks? What is she, some kind of sexual deviant?”
“You don’t know how close you are to the truth. Penny’s a dominatrix, but she’s not any dominatrix; she has to be the best in the world. She even went on an intensive training course to learn unique skills to give her the edge.”
Sinead’s mouth dropped open. “She’s a top-class lawyer who likes to whip her lovers?”
“No! Penny gave up her legal career to become a full-time dominatrix. It was the only way she could be the best in the business. She’d met her goals as a lawyer and was bored.”
“Let me get this right. Your sister gets paid to tie guys down and whip them for money?”
“Isn’t it ironic? My sister refused to let any man tie her down, and now she does it for a living. Do you want to know the best bit?”
“Of course!”
“Penny makes even more money than she did as a lawyer. It’s amazing how much people will pay to get their kinks satisfied.”
Sinead sat back in her seat. “That’s quite a story, but how does it relate to what I’m going through?”
“My sister is still a dominatrix. She’s in her mid-thirties, all alone, and the bitterest person I know. She turned down all those proposals, and every time a guy tries to get her to change a little, so they can live their lives together, she gets rid of him. She’s so focused that she refuses to let anything, including true love, get in her way.”
“That doesn’t sound good.”
“Penny’s so closed-off that she won’t let anybody in. She’s terrified that, if she changes to accommodate someone else, she’ll slip. I hate to think what will happen if she gets bored with whipping guys and walking across their backs in high heels. She’ll start over and still be miserable. Rich but miserable.”
“I see what you mean. But I’m not closed down. I know how to love.”
“I’m not saying you don’t, but it sounds like you’ve found something incredible, but you’re not going after it. You’ve given up because it’s gotten tricky and it might mean you have to change.”
Sinead swallowed as her throat tightened. “My mom’s always telling me to go after something better. There’s something better if you look hard enough. It’s what she does.”
“And is she happy chasing the dream?”
Sinead sucked in a breath. “She loves extravagant living and needs to be with guys who will provide that for her.”
“Does she love these guys?” Holly asked.
Sinead rubbed the back of her neck. “Whenever we discuss her men, she often seems angry. They provide enough for her. But like your sister, when they ask her to change, she rejects them.”
Holly sighed. “As much as we love our parents, they don’t always know best. Do you want to be like your mom? It sounds like she’s searching for happiness. Maybe she’s never found true love, so she doesn’t know what she’s missing out on. Diamond rings and fancy cars don’t fill that void if you’re not happy.”
Sinead blinked tears out of her eyes. “What should I do?”
“I’m a lonely, single baker, who has a passionate love affair with cake. My advice around love should not be taken seriously.”
“No! You know what you’re talking about,” Sinead said. “You’ve seen what happened to your sister because she rejected love. I’m thinking my mom has done the same.”
“If I was in your position, I’d take a risk. I’d go after this guy. I’d tell him everything. Even if you end up with your heart broken, at least you know you’ve tried and opened yourself to love.”
“What if it doesn’t work?” Uncertainty coursed through Sinead. She’d never taken such a risk with a guy. She knew better than that. She wouldn’t risk being let down.
“You’re asking the wrong question,” Holly said. “You need to ask yourself what if it does work?”
