Page 41

“It would be in nobody’s interest to do that,” Booby said. “Sinead makes you happy, and you make her content. How can you argue that’s wrong?”

“Sinead doesn’t believe that,” Talyn said. “And there are those odd emotions in her. Feelings of caution and doubt. She believes them. They’re so strong it sounds like another voice telling her what to do.”

“Another voice?”

He shook his head. “It’s similar to the experience I have with my mom. Dangerous, irrational feelings that make me doubt myself. Sinead has that inside her. The trouble is, she listens so closely to that voice and always agrees with it. She doesn’t think she’s a good person.”

Booby was silent for a moment. “Talyn, you’ve been alone for a long time. And before you say it, having me is not the same as having a flesh and blood partner.”

“Sure, I get that. What’s your point?”

“This relationship isn’t without its challenges, but Sinead has come into your life at a time when you need her. She offers you happiness, and you deserve it. Rather than fighting against it, much like she is, you need to embrace it.”

“I don’t deserve happiness.” He deserved to feel bad. Talyn could never rid himself of the guilt he carried for abandoning his mom. The pain he suffered whenever he was close to her had been too much to bear. He’d left his sister to handle everything.

“You can’t control what happens with your family,” Booby said. “You had to protect yourself. Your mother is a fine individual, but you don’t want to become like her.”

“I left because I’m weak-minded. Mom shouldn’t be able to affect me so badly, yet she does. It’s not as bad for Laya.”

“It’s not because you’re weak-minded. Your strong ability leaves you vulnerable.”

“Then it’s not a strength,” Talyn said.

“It might have hindered you in the past, but now that you have Sinead, she solves that issue. When she’s close, you find yourself calm and happy. I sense it.”

“Which is great for me but not fair on Sinead. I’m not going to force this on her.”

“You don’t care for her?”

“I believe we can love each other. I want her in my life but not at the cost of her happiness. There’ll be no joy for either of us if I force her into this contract. The affection we have will grow cold and bitter. Sinead will hate me. Maybe she already does. She already thinks I tricked her into signing the contract.” Talyn closed his eyes and wallowed in his pity. How had one misunderstanding gotten them into such trouble?

He should have paid more attention when Laya told him about My Single Alien and what it involved. But he’d been going through a tough time, numbing his feelings, and hadn’t cared about anything. His barriers had been so high when he’d agreed to this that it wouldn’t have mattered to him who he joined with, because he’d have felt nothing.

Talyn hadn’t stopped to consider the impact of partnering with Sinead and how this would affect her. He wasn’t sure how to salvage this. Maybe he shouldn’t. He didn’t deserve to be content. It was his punishment for not being there for his mom and not spotting the signs early enough to prevent her mind from breaking apart.

“If you don’t think going to the Lillip High Council will work,” Talyn said, “there’s one other thing. It’s a permanent option. No going back.”

Booby was silent apart from a flash of red light.

“You know what I’m going to say.” Talyn lowered his gaze. He couldn’t believe he was thinking about this, but it wasn’t the first time he’d dwelled on it.

“An expunge.”

Talyn pressed his lips together. “It’s a permanent way to shed my ability.”

“It’s also brutal and life altering. Sixty-two percent of Lillips who undergo this process come out as different individuals. Or rather, they’re no longer individuals. Their minds are gone. They become lifeless with no purpose.”

Talyn swallowed. He knew this. He’d always shied from the prospect of an expunge. It changed a person. It took away their empath ability but also their personality, passions, and dreams. It left them blank and emotionless. It would leave his mind silent.

“This isn’t a course of action I recommend,” Booby said. “You don’t want to do this.”

Talyn shrugged. “It’s not so different to how I was before I met Sinead. I kept my barriers up, so I felt very little. I’d done it for so long that I was used to it. It was bearable.”

“It was barely a life,” Booby said. “You had a half-life and hid from difficult situations because your ability would not serve you.”

“If I have my ability removed, I need to hide from nothing.”

“You won’t be you. You won’t want to do the things you currently do.”