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Hayley curled her hand into his hair as a sign of encouragement and tried to keep her groans to a minimum. This was a huge deal for Elias. The last time he’d been intimate with a female, he’d almost died. She wouldn’t startle him or give him anything to fear by making any noise.

She bit down on a moan as his fingers entered her, hard and eager as he opened her up. Hayley pressed up into his hand as his tongue swiped backward and forward against her clit.

The rhythm was so close to perfection, and her thighs shook as her orgasm grew close. Yet, Hayley held back. She needed to keep her cool and not freak Elias out. No screaming or sudden movements, or this could go wrong for him, and she’d trigger his flashbacks.

She groaned in frustration. This wasn’t working. Hayley was never quiet in bed, and not making much noise kept her orgasm on the edge. There would be no thigh trembling climax if she kept doing this. And Hayley wanted lots of earth shattering orgasms while riding Elias.

Hayley gripped his head tighter and arched up, locking her thighs around him. She needed this. Her release was so close, she couldn’t keep it in any longer.

For a second, she felt Elias stiffen but carry on, his tongue pressed against her clit and his fingers deep inside her. She couldn’t help herself as she bucked against his mouth, pants and moans flying out as her orgasm hit.

It felt like she’d blacked out for as second, the orgasm had been so intense. When she opened her eyes, Elias was no longer between her legs.

Hayley looked over at the door. Her pleasure drained away as she saw the fear in Elias’s eyes.

She cursed under her breath. She’d just done exactly what she shouldn’t. Her selfish need to come had triggered Elias’s bad memories, and she’d ruined things before they’d even gotten started.

Chapter 28

Elias backed away until he hit the wall. His heart raced as his flight instinct kicked in. Everything inside him told him to flee. He’d been pinned. He hadn’t been able to breathe. All sensibility left his head as the hateful memories of Princess Isolt returned in gut-clenching force.

“Shit! I’m sorry. I got carried away.” Hayley jumped up, her cheeks flushed as she approached him.

Elias shook his head, panic still clouding his vision. He raised a hand. “Stay back. I need a minute.” He needed to run. He couldn’t do this. It brought back too many bad memories. Terror was mixed with his desire for Hayley. This was wrong. He couldn’t be intimate with her. He was too broken to love her in the way she needed.

“No, no, no, no! Wait! Just wait. Look at me. Elias, I insist you look at me.” Hayley’s tone brooked no alternative.

He sucked in a breath, his thoughts a muddled flare of terror. He lifted his gaze to hers. Shame raked through his body like jagged claws. He’d let Hayley down.

“See, it’s me. It’s your Hayley. I will never hurt you. I will do everything in my power to keep you safe. I messed up. I so badly wanted you that I forgot. I’m the one with the problem. I’m a disgraceful, horny mess.” She took a step forward. “Elias, I love you.”

He swallowed, his horror receding as he looked at this beautiful female. “I just... fuck, I didn’t mean to do that. When you held me in place, I don’t know; it reminded me of that night. I couldn’t breathe. I had to...” Elias couldn’t speak. He’d screwed this up so badly. He wanted Hayley so much, but he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t give her what she desired.

“No, don’t you dare blame yourself for this. I know you get flashbacks from that night. I know Princess Isolt screwed you over. I’m just a dumb, sexually frustrated idiot who couldn’t stop herself.” She held out a hand. “I am so sorry. This is all my fault. I pushed too hard. You should have told me to slow down.”

Elias stared at her as his thoughts untangled, and he saw the shame in Hayley’s eyes. He couldn’t have that. She had nothing to be ashamed of. This was his problem. Hayley had shown she’d never hurt him. She’d risked her life and her career to keep him alive.

“Say something,” Hayley said. “I feel awful. I tried to stay quiet. I didn’t want to freak you out. I—”

“You are perfection. I am the one who got it wrong.” Hayley could be his world but only if he let her in and removed the barriers he’d had in place for so long. Elias grabbed her hand and pulled her close.

She gasped in surprise and pressed a hand against his chest. “However you want to do this, we will take it slow. I’m a noisy bitch in the bedroom. I’ll keep my mouth shut the next time.”

“No, you won’t. And we aren’t taking this slow.” If Elias didn’t do this now, push past those memories and make better ones, he’d always hold back, always be filled with fear. Fearful of something that was the most natural thing in the world. He ignored the throb from the wound in his side as he lifted Hayley.

“Oh!” She wrapped her legs around his waist as he kissed her.

Elias walked back to the couch with Hayley coiled around him, his mouth pinned to hers. He laid her down, pulled off his clothes and slid across her soft skin. He paused at her breasts, enjoying the feel of her hard nipples in his mouth.

“Do not be quiet. If you want to scream, go right ahead.” His kisses covered her chest and neck before he opened her thighs and pressed his cock against her wet opening. His gaze met Hayley’s. Her eyes were wide and her mouth parted. She was his. Elias desired no one else. Hayley was all he wanted, and he’d love her to the ends of space and back again.

“I only want to scream your name,” she whispered, her breath brushing against his lips.

He nudged inside her, slowing as she groaned and pressed against him.

Her eyes opened, and she bit her lip. “Too much?”

Elias’s smile was genuine as his fear receded. “Make as much noise as you like. Just let me know the next time you’re planning to pin me in between your thighs. I need to get used to that.”