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She shifted on the bed and pressed her back hard against him. “It’s everything. I’m finally sleeping. I can concentrate at work. I’m not always thinking about...”
Rane knew what she wanted to say. She wasn’t terrorized by what happened to her. “I’m glad I can help.” He hesitated before saying the next words. “I won’t always be here. When I get back to work, I have to go where my boss sends me. We travel all over the star system for diplomatic missions. There’s always some unreasonable idiot spoiling for a fight.”
Nell stiffened and then sighed. “I know. I can’t keep you forever.”
Rane’s jaw clenched. She could if she wanted to. If Nell said what he wanted to hear when she wasn’t under his influence, he’d be tempted to give up everything for her.
“Cowes is still considering how long my suspension will last. While I’m here, you can use me however you like.”
“And then?”
“By that time, you’ll feel ready to face the world without me.”
“I still have Doctor Kingsbury. She checks in with me daily to see how I’m doing. I’ve never had such an attentive therapist.”
Rane grimaced. He did not like Doctor Kingsbury messing with Nell’s head. “Does she know about me?”
“I’ve mentioned you. She urged caution but said, if I do not feel fearful around you, to continue our dates.”
“We’re dating?”
Nell chuckled. “No, but I can hardly call you my therapist as well. She might get jealous.”
“I’m a much better therapist than she is, and I have no training.”
“I won’t mention that’s what you think about her. I shall tell her more about you soon when the time is right. I always leave her sessions feeling as if a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.”
“Except during the session when we met on Starland.”
“That was different. We were trying something new. She hasn’t asked me to do that again. Maybe it was a step too far.”
“It was a dumb step,” Rane muttered. “You don’t need to be touching some stranger. Not now you have me.”
Nell moved her hand behind her and patted Rane’s stomach. “I don’t really have you, though. It’s a shame I can’t bottle what you do and keep it. Whenever I’m in need of your help, I could open the bottle and inhale.”
Rane shook his head. “I have to be right by your side for it to work.”
Nell was silent, but her hand remained on his stomach. “You’re good to me. I was so horrible to you when we first met.”
“You had reason to be.”
“I was a bitch. I’ve been a bitch to a lot of people for a long time.”
“Most people don’t notice. You wear a good mask.”
“I hate wearing it. I hate not being able to shout and scream and tell people that I’m broken.”
“Nell, you’re not broken.” He lifted a hand and gently placed it on her arm. “You’ve been pulled apart and not put back together right. You’re fixing it. You’re strong, and you can do this.”
She flipped over, so she faced Rane, and for once, her gaze didn’t dip when their eyes locked. “I feel broken.”
“You’re getting better.”
Nell sighed, and her breath tickled Rane’s chin. “Do you know what I want to do, right now?”
Rane hoped it involved jumping his bones and using that lovely mouth on him again. “I’ve no idea.”
“No more talk about how messed up I am. I want to dance.”
