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She slid down his zipper and was about to reach inside when Rane released his hold on her neck and grabbed her hand.

“This isn’t a good idea.”

She blinked up at him. “You don’t want me to touch you?”

He groaned as he kept hold of her hand. “More than anything but not like this.”

She shook her head. “I don’t get it. You’re into me. The enormous bulge in your pants tells me so. Why don’t you want me to give you a hand job?”

“As delightful as a hand job sounds, this is not the right time or place.”

Nell shrugged. “No one can see us. We’ve got the place to ourselves.” She tried to pull her hand out of his grip, but he held on tight.

“No, not like this. I’m happy for you to use me if it gets you over your fear of aliens, but I want you to take your time. We should get to know each other.”

“Why? We know enough about each other. I want to do this.”

“When the time is right, we will. You’re in a vulnerable state right now. If I let you do this to me, you might regret it.”

“That’s for me to deal with. I can figure out how vulnerable I am. All you need to worry about is sitting back, letting me jack you off, and getting a big grin on your face. You’re getting the better end of this deal.”

Rane shook his head and pulled up his zipper. “And I know it, which is why this ends.”

Nell scowled at him and wiped her hand on her jumpsuit. He didn’t want her touching him. The first freakin’ alien she’d ever wanted to get busy with, and he’d turned her down.

She slumped back in her seat and folded her arms over her chest. She could still taste him in her mouth and hated the fact she liked it.

“I’m not doing this to punish you,” Rane said. “Think about this before you go through with it.”

“I’m done with thinking and analyzing. I’ve spent the last five years over analyzing everything. Why can’t we just do this?”

“You’ve spent the last five years being scared of aliens. You need to take your time. We need to move slowly.”

“Sure we do,” she said bitterly. “Let me know when you’re ready to move, and I might be available.”

Rane let out a sigh. “You’re gorgeous. I’d love nothing more than to have you on your knees in front of me. But not now, not here, and not after you’ve been through a stressful therapy session and had me influence you. If anything went wrong, I’d hate for you to blame me.”

“I wouldn’t blame you. Forget about it. I’m not even into you. It was just convenient.” Nell shifted away in her seat as humiliation burned through her.

“I want to help you but in the right way.”

She shook her head as tears of frustration threatened. “I just need to be normal. I need not to care, or panic, or worry about everything.” Nell didn’t look at Rane as she held out her hand, hating herself for needing anything from him. “I need you to do that for me.”

“That’s a terrible idea, Nell. You can’t live your life feeling as if nothing matters. Using me to take away the hurt all the time doesn’t solve the problem. I thought that’s what you were looking for.”

“This is what I want right now. I don’t want to feel anything just for a while.” Nell turned to look at Rane. “I know you can do this for me. Please, will you help me?”

Rane’s expression was troubled as he grabbed Nell’s hand and held it tightly. “Of course, I can do that.”

“Then numb me. Make me forget to be scared.”

He sighed. “You relax. I’ll take care of everything. I’ll take care of you.”

Chapter 12

“Do it again. One more time.” Nell was sprawled next to Rane on his bed. One leg was pressed tight against his as her fingers stroked up and down his arm.

“You’ve had enough,” Rane said as he ignored his desire to flip her onto her back and let those teasing fingers go to work on him.