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ChapterFour
Keeping his composure while sitting across the table from the one woman he wanted more than anything in the world was, for lack of a better word, hard.
It was one of the most difficult challenges he’d ever had to face. Dallas had never had a problem in the looks department. He considered himself to be a handsome nigga, with a personality to match. His job was decent, and he was blessed enough to have a house and a car of his own.
The only thing he couldn’t seem to get a handle on was his love life. Attracting women had never been too tough. Finding one that he vibed with was the task he couldn’t overcome. And no matter how many excuses he made for himself, Dallas knew it was because of the woman whose company he had the pleasure of enjoying during dinner. The same woman he’d managed to fumble, despite her owning every piece of his heart.
He’d been paying for it dearly ever since.
“Stop staring at me like that,” Sevyn barked, frowning at him.
“Like what?”
“You know what! Like I’m more than the friend you suggested I be.”
Dallas fought the irritation slowly threatening to consume him. His conversations with Sevyn never lasted long before she found a way to remind him of the root of their falling out. It was almost as if she wanted to create a rift when things were going well.
“Sevyn,” he said, attempting to keep his tone even. “You know—”
“Parmesan-crusted shrimp?” their server called, reappearing with their food laid out along a round, black tray.
Their conversation ceased until their food was distributed and they were alone again.
“Look,” Sevyn spoke quickly, before Dallas could get a word in. “We were having a good night, right? Let’s not ruin it with a conversation about something that doesn’t even matter anymore.”
“Something that doesn’t matter to who?”
“Either one of us.”
Unable to keep his annoyance at bay any longer, Dallas released a loaded sigh. “Don’t tell me how I feel. I’ve tried, Sevyn. I’ve been trying, and the only one at this table that my attempts haven’t been good enough for is you.”
The dim candlelight danced between them as he watched her face contort into a scowl. “Are you serious? I made a damn fool out of myself laying everything out on the line. I told you exactly what I wanted and you told me that you didn’t see me as more than anything as a friend. So, because the tide finally turned for you, I’m wrong for not bending to your whims?”
Dallas closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose before prying them open.
“When did I say that?” he argued, attempting to keep his voice low. “I don’t know where you keep getting this idea that I want you to want me because I said so. How many times do you want me to say that I made a mistake? Because here I am about to say it again. I fucked up, aight? I didn’t know if I was in a space to take things to another level with you. So instead of jumping headfirst into something and ruining our entire friendship, I tried to keep it intact.”
“At the expense of my feelings.”
“Your feelings were going to be the price either way, Sevyn! Be it from me taking shit to another level with you and hurting you, or by denying you. Which one do you think you’d rather live with?”
“Neither,” she glared stubbornly. “I’d rather you felt the same way that I did.”
“My feelings were never in question, Sev,” he murmured, sitting back in his chair. “Just my morals. I’m sorry for hurting you. I mean that shit from the depths of my soul. But if it meant sparing you from being dragged through a bunch of my bullshit, I’d do it all over again. The only thing I’ve ever wanted to do is protect you.”
“Then I guess there’s not much else for us to talk about then. Is it?”
“Sevyn.”
“Leave it alone, Dallas. Damn.”
Dallas didn’t say another word. He knew enough about Sevyn to know when to push and when to leave her be. The night had already traveled to a point of no return. With her in defense mode, his attempts to try and steer the conversation in a positive direction would only make things worse.
Silence was the only remedy to keep what little peace was left between them during the remainder of their awkward dinner. A dinner that he forced himself through solely because, despite her attitude, he missed her enough to take whatever time with her that he could get. Awkward or not.
