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“Ten pounds.”

She bursts out laughing.

“We ate it all between the three of us. Dex, Damiano and me. And after an hour, our stomachs started to act up, but we were thirty minutes away from the nearest toilet on horseback.”

Her laughter grows louder, and I smile.

“We didn’t eat cookies for years after that.”

She blinks away a few tears, still smiling.

“He had a weakness for cookies. There were so many times I woke up and he wasn’t in bed, only to find him in the kitchen eating cookies and drinking milk.”

I smile because I needed this too. Stories of him after he left here, little pieces of the life he built with Nora that I never got to see.

Her brows pull together as she looks down at the sandwich in her hands.

“God, I miss him.”

I nod. “Me too.”

She looks back at the badly carved Blackjack.

“You think he can see us, sitting here, laughing at his antics?”

I think about it, then nod. “I hope so.”

She looks at me. “Me too.”

For a while, we sit in comfortable silence, eating our lunch and looking out over the lake. Nora finishes her sandwich, then picks up the paper napkin and starts folding it between her fingers.

“Jude?”

“Yeah?”

“Why didn’t you come to his funeral?”

I swallow. That’s one memory I don’t like digging up, but as I study her, I realize she needs the truth.

“You wore a yellow dress.”

Her head snaps up. “How did you…? Did your mom tell you?”

“No.”

She studies me, searching my face for an answer.

I sigh. “I came. Sat in the last row of the church, but when the priest started talking about him and gestured toward the urn, I just…” I shake my head. “The thought of him in there…”

I take a deep breath, trying to get the rest of the words out.

“I ran outside and had a panic attack. After that, I packed my bags and came back home without even waiting for my parents and Dex to return to the hotel. I…”

I can’t continue. The memory still feels like my soul has been sliced open, and I can’t stop the bleeding.

Nora gives me a sad smile. There’s understanding in her eyes, but no judgment.

“He made me promise I’d wear that dress to his funeral.” She shakes her head. “I wore it on our first wedding anniversary. I still have it in Chicago, but even looking at it…”