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He holds up his hands in surrender. “Alright, got it. We’re still touchy on the ‘L’ word. Noted.”

I grind my molars, glaring at him. “I’m not … touchy about it. I don’t want to talk about her. Plus, there’s nothing to talk about.”

Kai eyes me suspiciously, but doesn’t push. He knows I’m not the one. “Got it, man. Let me know if you change your mind.”

I scoff, changing the subject. “It’s ready. Help me lift him inside,” I say, motioning toward Dorian’s dead body on the ground at our feet.

I open the door to the crematory, the hot air wafting out of it as we lift Dorian and toss him inside. Closing the door behind him, I turn the timer on to make sure that nothing besides his ashes will be left when it’s done. Staring at the glowing window a second longer, I turn on my heels and head for the door. When I don’t hear Kai’s footsteps behind me, I stop short. Turning to glance over my shoulder, I catch him staring inside the chamber, watching as Dorian’s body burns to ash. I turn fully and take a step toward him, slowing once I spot the somber expression on his face.

“Kai?” I ask, cautious not to startle him when he looks like he’s in a damn trance.

“Isn’t it odd?” he asks, his gaze fixed straight ahead. I watch as the reflection of the flames dances in the light blue of his unblinking eyes.

“Is what odd?” I ask, worried. I hope this doesn’t cause him to relapse. You can never be sure what might set him off, and I don’t know shit about drugs.

“That we all do this,” he starts, tilting his head. “Kill, watch people be killed, and burn the bodies without ever batting an eye.” He finally turns away from the inferno, his eyes full of a vacant sort of sadness when they land on mine. It’s almost like staring into a mirror.

“Uh, sure?” I say, hesitant. I shake my head. “I mean, no. But this is the way that it has to be, Kai. You know that. Dorian was dangerous. Sabel was dangerous. Who knows what they were planning with the Eden Frequency. We stopped that, okay? We put an end to the madness. This is the end of all that.”

I motion toward the chamber and the bright orange flames licking at the window. Kai seems to contemplate my words as he chews on his lip ring, picking at his chipped, black-painted nails. There’s a long moment of silence before he speaks again.

“Yeah, I guess so,” he says. And just like that, his energy shifts, and his emotions morph into their usual happy variety. “Let’s get out of here before the smell of burning flesh fills the room. I’ll definitely puke if I get a whiff of that shit.”

He turns and begins walking toward the elevator, whistling an upbeat tune as he reaches out and taps the button to go back up. All evidence of the weird shit he said moments earlier has vanished. I don’t push, knowing that if I do, I might push him straight into a heroin overdose. We ride the elevator up in silence, and I step out into the hallway first.

“Hold on,” I say, stepping into a room to my right. “I need to fix my hand.”

“Yeah, man, of course,” Kai says, following me inside.

I make my way over to a cabinet against the far wall, where I know a bunch of medical equipment will be. As a frequent victim of Sabel’s temper tantrums, I’ve spent my fair share of time in this room with Brian, Reverb’s physician.

“So,” Kai starts, “about Lydia.”

“I said, I don’t want to fucking talk about it,” I grumble, grabbing the material to make a splint for my hand.

“I was just going to say that I’m sorry.” Kai sighs, reaching over to help me when I nearly drop a roll of elastic bandage. “I mean, I don’t get why you don’t just admit it already.”

“Admit what?” I ask, reluctantly letting Kai help me with the splint after trying to wrap the padding and failing to do it with only one working hand.

“That you like her,” he says, smiling while he finishes the padding, then wets the material and holds it in the correct position under my hand while it hardens.

“I don’t like her,” I mutter, staring down at my hand while he wraps the elastic bandage over the cast material.

“Sure, sure. Whatever you have to tell yourself to feel better, Cal. But admitting the truth is the first step to freedom. You should give it a try. Maybe then you wouldn’t be so grumpy all the time.”

“Don’t talk to me like your goddamn therapist talks to you. I’m not ignoring some imaginary truth. There’s nothing between Lydia and me, just like there’s nothing between you and Emery,” I bite back.

Kai winces at the mention of his therapist’s name, wrapping the last bit of elastic bandage as his eyes find mine. The hurt that I see swirling there makes me wish I were a better friend. Anger takes over as he fists his hands at his sides before turning to walk toward the door. He stops with one hand on the door frame, turning to look over his shoulder.

“You know, Cal, you don’t always have to be such a fucking asshole. And also, you don’t know anything about my relationship with Emery. She’s the best thing that ever happened to me. It’s because of her that I’m still fucking breathing today. Maybe take a look in the mirror before you start throwing stones.” He storms out of the room and into the hallway, leaving me behind with nothing but my shitty attitude and even shittier hand.

“Kai, wait,” I call out, sighing as I jog after him. I reach him in a few strides, grabbing his shoulder to stop him. “I’m sorry, man. You’re right. That was too far.”

He turns, staring at me for several seconds before speaking. “Fine. But I’m not going to let you keep treating me like shit. It ends now. Got it?” I wince at his words, the truth of them a punch to the gut. I deserve it.

“Yeah, man. Of course. I’m sorry,” I say, giving him a half-smile.

He sighs, nodding. We continue walking toward the exit, leaving Sonus like we didn’t roast a guy’s corpse in an incinerator minutes before. Maybe Kai is right, and we are all oddly numb to this shit. Or maybe, Sabel and Dorian had it coming. Either way, I hope this is the end of the death and dying for a while. I grab my helmet as Kai does the same.