Secret Twin Heirs For The Billionaire
Page 269
Eleanor takes me to the library. I haven't been inside this room since the months I spent cataloging the Kensington collection, and the moment she opens the doors, it hits me all at once: the tall windows, the smell of old paper and leather, the long oak table where I used to spread out provenance files until Ross came looking for me at the end of the day.
Eleanor closes the doors behind us and gestures toward the two armchairs by the window. She doesn't sit across from me. She draws her chair close enough that our knees nearly touch.
For a moment, neither of us speaks. I've imagined facing this woman a hundred times since the photographs came out, and in every version, I was bracing for her anger. I was ready for it. I'm not ready for the way she's looking at me now, with a kind of tenderness that makes my throat tighten.
"Eleanor," I begin, "I owe you an apology. I kept your grandsons from you. You missed their whole lives because of a decision I made, and there's nothing I can say that gives that time back to you. I'm so sorry."
She listens to all of it without interrupting. When I finish, she reaches over and takes my hand.
"I won't pretend it didn't hurt," she says gently.
"It did. I've thought a great deal this week about every birthday I missed, and I wish you had trusted us. But I've also thought about who you were then, and how young you were, and what our family must have looked like from where you stood. A grieving son who'd just walked away from you. A trust. Lawyers. A name that swallows people whole." Her mouth curves sadly. "I've been married into that name for more than forty years, Blaire. I know how frightening it can be."
I can't answer. I only hold on to her hand.
"But that isn't why I wanted to speak with you," she says.
"I didn't bring you in here to talk about Wells and Miles. I'll love those boys no matter what you decide, whether you live in London or San Francisco or on the moon. That was settled the moment I saw them this afternoon." She pauses.
"I brought you in here to talk about you."
"About me?" I ask.
"About you," she says. "Do you know when I first knew?"
I shake my head.
"It was the first time you sat at my table," she says.
"You'd only just started working in this room, and I invited you to dinner because you looked as though you'd forgotten to eat. You were telling Charles about some discrepancy in a frame that no one else had noticed, and I looked across the table at my son, and he was watching you as though you were the only thing in the room worth seeing. Ross had never looked at anyone that way. Not once, in his entire life. I knew then that he loved you, long before he did."
Tears blur my vision. I blink them back.
"And when he let you go," she continues, more quietly, "I watched something in him close. He did his duty. He did it brilliantly. But for all the years that followed, I watched my son become a man who ran an empire and went home to an empty house, and I didn't know how to reach him." She squeezes my hand.
"Then you came back into his life, and in the space of a single summer, he's become someone I haven't seen since he was a boy. He laughs again. He argues with his brother about football. He sat on my terrace this afternoon and refused to walk into a meeting because his sons needed him outside. You did that. You're so good for my son, Blaire. You've changed him in ways I'd stopped hoping anyone could."
"I didn't do anything," I whisper. "He did that himself."
"He did it because of you," she says firmly.
She lifts her other hand and touches my cheek, the way my own mother does when she wants to be sure I'm listening.
"You're an extraordinary woman," she says.
"You're remarkable. You're brilliant at your work, you raised two wonderful boys on your own, and you're beautiful, inside and out. I've thought so since the first week you spent in this room." Her voice catches, and she takes a breath to steady it.
"Whatever the trustees do, they'll do because that's what trustees are for. That isn't who we are. The institution is one thing. This family is another. And this family would be honored to have you in it. You would be the best thing that has ever happened to us." She smiles through her own tears.
"You'd be the daughter I never had…as well as Jane," she smiles and winks.
Something breaks open inside me. For as long as my sons have been alive, I've carried the belief that this family would take my sons and have no use for me. I built my entire life around that fear. And the woman at the very center of it is holding my hands in the room where everything began and telling me I was wanted all along.
I don't know which of us moves first. Eleanor's arms come around me, and I lean into her and cry, really cry, for the first time since the day I found out I was pregnant and knew I would be doing this alone. She holds me the way a mother holds a daughter, one hand smoothing my hair, saying nothing at all, simply letting me come apart.
When I finally sit back, she hands me a handkerchief from her pocket, embroidered with a K, and I laugh through my tears at the absurdity of it.
"Take your time deciding," Eleanor says gently.