Page 64

Eventually, though, my over-sensitive cock starts to protest. Leaning back on my knees, I watch myself slip out of his body as my release drips from his hole. On instinct, I reach out to push it back in with my fingers, causing Shilo to flinch.

“Sorry,” I murmur, realizing he’s probably tender, but I’m mesmerized by the sticky mess trying to escape. The thought of my cum inside him, marking him, has my dick trying to rally for round two. This is definitely something I could get used to.

Immediately, my brain has a steel door slamming shut over those thoughts, souring my mood.

I don’t get attached. I don’t sleep in bed with my hookups, and I definitely don’t fantasize about fucking them before work so that my cum leaks out of their ass all day.

This is just a one-off. The dream muddled my senses, that’s all. I’ll be back to normal in the morning.

Shilo watches me as I get off the bed, heading for the bathroom to dampen a cloth. When I return, his brows are pinched with worry, but I say nothing as I quickly clean us up. He finally breaks the silence after I’ve grabbed a fresh shirt from my closet.

“Do you want me to sleep on the couch now?”

His voice sounds so small and defeated. I hate it. I hate that I’ve made him feel this way.

“No.” Tossing him the shirt, I turn my back and sit on the edge of the bed. “That shirt is now a bio-hazard. Switch it out so we can sleep.”

Much to my relief, he snorts, throwing the soiled shirt on the floor before nestling under into the sheets. “I like wearing your clothes. They smell nice.”

“Don’t get used to it. I’m taking my shirt back in the morning.”

He hums contentedly, curling on his side, and I watch him for a few minutes, battling demons in my head.

I want to slide in behind him, curve my body around his, and press my face to his hair. Place my palm on his chest and sleep to the steady beat of his heart. But instead, I climb beneath the covers and face the windows, leaving my arms empty.

I can’t want. There’s no place in my life for such things, I don’t deserve it. Not after what I’ve done. There’s only CalTek.

Warmth suddenly blooms on my back as Shilo once again lays against me. His arm slips around my waist, pressing his face into my skin. Making me the little spoon.

“What’s your mom’s name?”

Stiffening briefly, I force myself to relax. “Ava.”

Holding my breath, I wait for him to launch into questions I’m not ready to answer, but instead, a yawn is his only response.

“Night, Ryann,” he mumbles, caressing my abs, and I can’t help the laugh of disbelief that leaves my throat.

He’s so sweet. So good. My mere existence sullies him.

“Good night, Shilo.”

I promised myself years ago that I’d never let anyone close, and now I’m practically letting someone under my skin. It’s too much. These feelings burning in my chest are too much.

Now that he's in, though, I don’t know if I’ll be able to get him out. It’s terrifying.

As his quiet snores fill the silence, soft hair tickling my shoulder, I fall deeper into this pit until only one thing becomes abundantly clear.

I know what I have to do.

Shilo

“Why do I even have to go to this stupid thing?”

“It’s not stupid, Shilo.” Paige throws me an exasperated glance as she leads me down a hall lined with Christmas trees toward CalTek’s ballroom.

Yeah. CalTek has a frickin’ ballroom. They only use it for special occasions, though, like tonight. Not only is this the annual company Christmas party, but they’ve also combined it with a charity event, so the place is packed. The dress code is also black tie required. Which, according to Paige, means I had to wear a tuxedo.

I don’t even own a tuxedo. I wasn’t even going to come, but for whatever reason, Ronin Callahan sent out an email declaring that all employees were required to attend. So here I am—dressed in a rented tux that cost way too much, my hair half up and combed out of my face. I hate it.