Page 58 of My Big Fat Shifter Wedding

“Family stuff.” Not for the first time, I was incredibly grateful when he didn’t ask me for any sort of clarification. He really had the patience of a saint because what I was doing to him wasn’t fair.

I didn’t know how to navigate it. I had fallen so deeply in love with a human who was exceptional in every way, but I also wasn’t willing to lose my family. They had their flaws, of course, but those flaws weren’t worth losing them forever.

And even if, for some reason, I chose to abandon my pack, I would still be a wolf. Did I want to spend my whole life pretending to be something I wasn’t? Denying the most basic side of myself? Then, if I did choose that, which I never would, how would I explain the fact that I would be aging about half as much as Keith at most?

Ugh.

I’d really gotten myself into a mess, hadn’t I?

“We don’t have to go out if you don’t want to. I’m perfectly happy turning the car around and having a night in,” Keith offered. It was so incredibly sweet because I knew he’d been planning our day together for at least a month.

We’d gone to a movie earlier, then back to his place so I could get dolled up for the fancy restaurant.

“No, no, I’ve been looking forward to this. I can’t think of anything better to get me out of my head.”

“Only if you’re sure.” When I nodded, he smiled and lifted my hand to his lips. “Sometimes being in the car at night in the rain makes my thoughts wander too.”

“Does it?” I mused, happy that there were new things to learn about the man who brought so much joy to my life.

“Yeah. Just contemplative, ya know?”

Boy, did I. I’d never connected it to the rain, but he was right. There was something about the rhythmic beat of the windshield wipers as they dashed from side to side, a counterpoint to the hollow thumps of the big, fat rain drops against the windshield.

But the issue was, no matter how many times I refigured the puzzle in my head, I wasn’t willing to let go of Keith or my pack. I wanted to be a wolf, and I also wanted to be his wi⁠—

Don’t think about it. Just like every other time.

Easier said than done. I managed to get myself together by the time we pulled into a parking garage deep in the city.

“It’s a bit of a walk,” Keith said. “But I brought an umbrella.”

“Of course you did,” I said, knowing from past storms we’d weathered that he had one of those jumbo-sized ones that could fit the both of us.

Well, me and most of him, but that was probably the best we could hope for without becoming a walking hazard on the sidewalk.

“But trust me, I don’t mind getting a little wet.” I waggled my eyebrows at him and he snickered, which never failed to make me chuckle. Was it immature? Yes. But with Keith I didn’t always have to be the consummate professional and composed woman. I could be a brat, or immature, or downright silly. He never judged me for it.

“I suppose I might have experienced that once or twice,” he said, leaning over to kiss my cheek before getting out of the car and grabbing the umbrella from the back.

I felt a little like a princess when he came around to my side and held the umbrella over the door so I was completely dry as I exited and began to walk, the two of us arm in arm. Even through my light coat, I felt the heat of his body radiating through the night air. As a shifter, I was supposed to be the warm one, but my giant partner definitely had me beat on every night but the full moon.

And on full moons, I was always with my family, so it wasn’t like Keith knew anything about that.

Ugh.

My subconscious was really set on not letting me put that out of my mind and enjoying the night, was it?

I’d have to try harder.

Instead of chasing my tail in circles for the umpteenth time, I leaned my head against his shoulder and enjoyed our short walk to the high-end sushi restaurant.

“Whoa…” I murmured as I looked up at the glamorous front. It was just shy of early aughts gaudy and stood magnificently against the night sky. “I’ve been meaning to come here for ages!”

“I know,” Keith murmured, looking pleased with himself. “You mentioned it once or twice.”

I flushed. It was so good to be seen and understood. The things Keith remembered… it really was lovely.

The hostess, who looked like she’d stepped off the page of a fashion magazine, greeted us warmly as soon as we stepped inside. Movies had made me think that upscale restaurants like these would be full of snooty people who would make the experience unpleasant, but that didn’t seem to be the case here.