Page 102 of How To Not Need You

“Fuck.”

Luca's expression softens. “She was a mess. Well, still is a mess.”

I close my eyes. I didn't cheat on her. I didn't lie. I haven't done anything wrong. And somehow hearing that still makes guilt settle like concrete in my stomach.

“She thought…” Luca starts.

“I know what she must have thought.” I cut him off.

“No, I don't think you do.” The serious expression on his face is so out of place that all I can do is stare.

“She didn't just think Megan was there.” His voice is quieter now. “She thought she'd been stupid for trusting you.”

Fuck.

I look away. The café blurs into shelves and people and warm light.

I think back to all the moments we have shared over the last few months. How much she has told me about her past.

She trusted me. Not easily, but she did.

Liv had trusted me after spending years making sure she never had to trust anyone that much again. Then the morning after I gave her a key, she walked straight into the one scene almost perfectly designed to make her regret it.

“I need to talk to her.”

“I know.”

“Then tell me where she is.”

Luca watches me for a long moment before he answers. “I need to ask her first.”

Every exhausted, terrified part of me wants to argue.

She's my girlfriend.

I love her.

I need to see her.

But none of those things mean I get to barge through whatever boundary she's put up because I don't like being on the other side of it.

So I nod instead, hating every second of the movement.

“Okay.”

Luca looks faintly surprised at that. “Okay?”

“Ask her.” I pull out my phone and stare bleakly at the lack of messages from her. Then I look back at him.

“But tell her something for me.”

“What?”

“Tell her nothing happened. Tell her Megan's hot water was out and she asked to use mine because hers wasn't working. Tell her I was at the station the whole fucking time.”

“I think she knows that deep down.”

“Tell her anyway.”