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She nodded, trying desperately to focus on this win. It was a coup, really. With an earl and his family to sponsor her, she would have the sort of connections she’d need to attract the young ladies of the best families.

This was a good thing. She ought to be so grateful.

And she was.

But as she made her excuses to flee the room, it was not gratitude that had tears threatening to spill.

6

Alex’s great aunt nudged his side as he led her to dinner. “You have come a long way, my boy,” she murmured.

He dipped his head in acknowledgement. Aunt Gertie was no doubt referring to his ability to trod through this tedious gathering with his dead brother’s former fiancée and her family.

“Olivia has always been kind to me,” he said.

And today had been no different. He’d seen the sadness in her eyes, but she had embraced him upon entering, forsaking propriety in the face of grief. He’d held her stiffly, more aware of Clara’s eyes on them than on the feel of Olivia in his arms, albeit briefly.

Next Frederick’s beautiful bride-to-be had moved on to Tess and the two had embraced with quiet weeping until Olivia’s father intervened with a gruff murmur and a hand on his daughter’s shoulder.

After that, things had only grown more dismal.

But, he supposed his great aunt was right. He had come a long way, these past few days and perhaps over the last nine months. He’d stayed by Olivia’s side, asking after her health, her family, her pastimes. Asking questions. That was what Clara had told him to do.

And he’d listened.

Oh, how much easier life could be when one merely listened. With Olivia he heard all about her life these past few months, though they both avoided the topic of his brother and their mutual grief, perhaps because they both knew it would end in tears.

Later, he heard all about her father’s new venture in India, and her mother’s plans for the upcoming season. He listened. He heard.

But it was what he hadn’t heard that gave him pause. Clara’s laughter. Clara’s teasing. He’d grown accustomed to having her at his side, particularly at gatherings such as this one. Even when it was just the family, she was always there, egging him on, nudging him or encouraging him. But this evening she had been silent.

He glanced over his shoulder at Clara, who was following behind them with Tess.

She’d been uncharacteristically quiet tonight. In fact, she’d been quiet these past two days after announcing her decision to him.

A school. It made sense, he supposed. She had a skill; she had the goodwill of the ton. It was a way for her to forge her own future…

Without him.

The selfish thought nagged at him.

“Are you all right?” Aunt Gertie asked.

“Yes, of course.”

Soon the rest of the party was gathering around them, with Olivia seated across from him. With blonde hair and fair skin, she’d always been undeniably beautiful.

And yet…

His gaze moved down the table as if of its own volition.

And yet she could not hold a candle to Clara with her flashing eyes and her kind smiles. When Olivia smiled at him he felt nothing more than sympathy over what she’d lost. A camaraderie of sorts since they had both lost someone they’d loved. A shared history, which had to count for something, he supposed.

It was not until after supper that he had a chance to speak to Olivia with any semblance of privacy. All eyes were on them, but the others were out of earshot. Her father was watching them closely, but again it was Clara’s gaze he was aware of.

He looked to her now, searching for any sign of sadness. Any hint of jealousy.

Not that he wanted that. No. Not at all. It would be best for everyone if she did not share his regard. It was bad enough that he’d kissed her, wishing for her to suffer would merely make him cruel.