Page 87

“So, when did you meet Caleb?” I ask, clearing my throat. Verity said two years, but I want to hear her say it.

“The day after you left,” she tells me.

“Didn’t waste much time, did you?” I mutter.

“Joseph, three days after you left, there were articles about you being seen stumbling out of a dive bar in the US with some Z-list wannabe on your arm.”

“Keeping tabs?” I taunt.

“After the millionth woman claiming you rocked their world, I gave up,” she snipes.

There’s something about her attitude that makes me lean towards her. I know it’ll make her as uncomfortable as she’s trying to make me feel. I stare into her eyes, holding her gaze. There’s a little thrill when she doesn’t look away. I used to convince myself that I was the only person she ever held eye contact with, that we had something magical and special between us.

“Jealous? Caleb not hitting the spot for you, princess?”

“Caleb spends most of his time balls-deep in Felix, so I’ve heard he hits the spot, but I can’t comment for mine,” she replies in a haughty tone.

“Wait.”

“What, Joseph? Going to apologise for being a dick?”

“I thought you and Caleb….”

“No.” She rolls her eyes.

“But he had his hands all over your stomach,” I point out. I can’t imagine the father feeling comfortable watching another man touch her stomach with such intimacy and adoration on his face.

“This is Felix and Caleb’s baby.” She runs a hand over the arch of her stomach.

“How on earth did you…?” I start.

“How on earth did I decide I could give up another baby?” she guesses.

I shift uncomfortably in my seat. “That wasn’t what I was going to say. I was just wondering how you all went about it,” I admit.

“Oh, we had twenty-four hours in bed together where they took turns.” She sounds so matter-of-fact, and then she does something I didn’t expect given everything going on: She laughs and pushes me slightly on the arm. I try not to focus on how her touch still feels like it can burn me and cool me down at the same time. “You idiot. We got some help. They wanted a baby, and I did what a good friend would do.”

“Purchased a turkey baster?” I’m as surprised by my words as she is. I don’t think either of us expected jokes or laughter today.

“No, we had proper help. I donated my egg, they donated sperm, and the doctor weaved their magic. I’m just the temporary oven in this scenario,” she explains. She sighs and bites her lip for a second. “I need you to know, if there was any chance that Maddie was going to get sick again, I never would have done it. I feel so guilty that I can’t give her what she might need. She was doing so well. The doctors were so optimistic the whole time, even back to when she was first diagnosed. ‘Bit of chemo and she’ll be as good as new’ became our joke and mantra, but we all believed it. I thought we were through it all, which is why I agreed to do this for Felix and Caleb, and why I never told you she had been sick.”

“Yeah, well, you’re good at not telling me the things I ought to know,” I say, the previous humour gone from my tone.

“You told me to stay out of your fucking life, remember?”

“I told you to contact me if she ever needed anything.”

“The second she did, I did. When she was first diagnosed, what she needed was peace and calm to get through that battle. Don’t blame me for choosing, again, to put her needs first.”

“Delilah, you can’t expect me not to have been angry about everything. You fucking blindsided me about her, and I had no time to process anything. If you had told me earlier, yeah, I’d still have been shocked and angry, but it always felt like I found out by accident, that you were never going to tell me. I mean, were you ever going to tell me? Did you just hope I’d fuck you for a few weeks before I fucked off, letting you keep your secret?”

“I don’t want to fight,” she whispers.

“You threatened to—”

“Don’t.” She shakes her head and looks like she wishes she could be anywhere in the world rather than sitting next to me. She takes a deep breath. “I never would have followed through with it. I panicked. The pressure felt like too much and I lashed out, because that’s what I do when I’m scared.” There’s another deep breath, and she shifts uncomfortably on the sofa. “Nothing that happened between us was seedy, scandalous, improper, coercive, or illegal.”

“There was still an abuse of power,” I mutter. I’ve tortured myself over it since the second she uttered her threat.