Page 59 of Against All Odds

“Verena.” Raya snorted, disdain thinly veiling her hurt – right now, she was even more see-through than usual. “You liked it when she went all scary goddess on you, I could tell.”

I pressed my lips together, fighting for my life not to laugh – I didn’t want to minimize her struggles. “Wouldn’t you have the same reaction if she did that to you?”

Raya quickly lowered her head, failing to hide her blush.

I lifted her chin, taking on a more serious tone. “Hey, I’m not going anywhere, okay? You heard the judges. Our souls are tied together now.”

I fought to push away the thoughts of what that meant. Tied together in hell.

She blinked. “But is that what you want?”

“What?”

“Are you saying this because you want to stay with me?” She stepped back, carefully prying her hand away from my grip. “Or maybe fate has tied our souls together and you have no choice?”

I opened my mouth and closed it, unsure of what to say. “I literally broke cosmic law trying to save you. Do you really need to question this still?”

But when I saw her face contort, I regretted the question – of course, she still doubted my feelings for her. Of course, after a lifetime of pining for the wrong people and believing she wasn’t good enough, she would need constant reassurance.

And I didn’t mind giving her an eternity of it, I realized. I didn’t mind if it could soothe the ache in her soul. It would just take me some time to understand all of her. There was a difference between watching her and seeing her.

“The Court has granted us the decency of five minutes to say goodbye.” We both flinched at Jurrian’s voice. Lexius had left, and now, it was just the three of us. “Girls, I am so, so sorry I couldn’t do more for you.”

“Hey, no,” I snapped, firmer than intended. “We’re not doing this again, okay? You’ve done more than enough. I don’t know anyone who keeps punishing himself for one mistake, over and over again, the way you have.”

To my surprise, he actually shut up, even though I knew for sure he wasn’t done with his self-deprecation.

“So.” Raya looked between us both. “Can someone tell me what’s going on?” She gestured around the now empty room. “I get that I’m dead and that we’re about to go to Hell, but what’s all this?”

Hell. Dread twisted my stomach again, rising sourly in my throat.

“Well, I suppose Seren has an afterlife of explaining to you,” Jurrian said after a pause.

“What do you mean?” I frowned. “There’s… time to explain in the lower realm?” The idea of holding a conversation with a cup of tea while burning in Hell sounded so ridiculous, I would laugh if it weren’t so terrifying.

Jurrian’s eyebrows shot up. “Seren, you do realize that a karmic cleansing is temporary. Right?”

I blinked. Vaguely, I remembered something about how only the worst people would burn for eternity, but as soon as he mentioned hellfire, I felt nothing but fear. “I mean, I sort of assumed—”

“There’s no such thing as eternal damnation for a gray soul, Seren. A karmic cleansing is nothing more than a reset before you can make it into the higher realm. In fact, there’s no such thing as eternity, either – everything in the Universe has a beginning and an end.” He inhaled deeply, eyes scanning the room. “The length of your punishment depends on your karmic balance. As Lytheria said, you both have inflicted a lot of pain, but also suffered a lot. Both influence the length of your sentence.”

I wasn’t sure whether to laugh or cry happy tears. Fire was still fire – eternal or not. “How long?” I struggled to force the two words out of my throat.

“It’s hard to say. Firstly, because I do not have access to this knowledge – and secondly, because time is irrelevant when you perceive it so differently in the lower realm. When you’re in there, it will feel like eternity – but please, believe me when I say it will be over before you know it, and when it is, heavenly bliss will quickly fade the memories into the background.”

“And we’ll get to stay together the whole time?” Raya, whose priorities were wildly different from mine, glanced up at Jurrian with adorable hopefulness.

He answered her smile. “Yes, Raya. As your souls are now tied together, you will endure your sentence and then make your way to the higher realm together.”

That lit up her face so brightly, I almost wanted to believe we would be okay.

“Just do me one favor.” I turned to Jurrian – I needed to keep talking so I wouldn’t think about how every second brought us closer to the inevitable. “For karma’s sake – or whoever I need to refer here to get through to you – accept your well-deserved place in the higher realm, okay? I forgive you. Yes, I was angry for a moment, but I also understood. I would’ve done the same. I was mostly upset that you kept it from me, but I forgive you – so please, forgive yourself.”

For a moment, Jurrian only stared at us.

Then he nodded. His lip started to quiver, and I realized he couldn’t speak, even if he wanted to.

His face fell. “It’s almost time.”