Page 5 of Against All Odds

But the walls, though thin, had not yet shattered. I hadn’t yet drunk enough for that, so I could surely handle a few more glasses. Instead, I flashed Emmy a sweet smile – trying to mimic Rebekah’s, the one that made everyone melt. I lacked her natural charm though – despite studying her for months, grasping for a glimpse of what she had. “But your cocktails are so good, Emmy, and I need to finish this bus.”

With a sigh, Emmy refilled my glass.

Good, my drunken alter ego muttered. She better not try to fucking tell me what to do.

When I drank just a few glasses, my cage of anxiety loosened. My insecurities faded – they were still there, but they screamed less loudly. After all, when we were all laughing and drinking together, how could I know for sure that they didn’t like me?

Unfortunately, I could never stick to just a few glasses. Because when the cage loosened too much, and my shadow side peeked her head out, she wanted more. And as her influence grew with each glass, she pushed back the anxious, rational part of me, until I fully let her take over and destroy everything in her wake.

Which was why I couldn’t let her out, not tonight. Tonight, I would stay in control. This would be my last glass – just enough to slip into the fun version of myself, not too much to lose control.

“Alright, guys!” Parker jumped up, clapping his hands like an overenthusiastic seal. “My girl is right. We can sit around here any other time. Let’s show Catchphrase who owns this city.” He winked, pulling Rebekah closer to kiss her cheek. Suddenly, three glasses of alcohol no longer seemed enough to stomach this.

“I haven’t even finished my drink!” Tracy pouted.

“Down it!” Rebekah encouraged. Following her own advice, she downed her half-full glass before expectantly looking around the group. With some eye rolls and mock-grumbles, the others did the same.

A shock went through me when Rebekah’s blue eyes rested on me. She raised her eyebrows expectantly.

I looked down at my full glass and hesitated. Downing a whole glass of Emmy’s infamous cocktail at once sure sounded like a bad idea.

I glanced back up to meet Emmy’s eyes, carrying an undisguised warning as she demonstratively shook her head.

“Raya?”

The way my name rolled off Rebekah’s tongue made something flutter where it shouldn’t. Without another thought, I threw my head back and downed the cocktail at once.

Fighting the nausea, I slammed it back down and stumbled up. Kyle got up just in time to steady me and prevent me from falling over in front of everyone. “Yes.” The word came out firmer than planned. “Let’s hit this fucking city.”

The world around me blurred during the ten-minute bike ride into the city. I knew what this meant – beyond this point of intoxication, tonight’s events were no longer being saved to my memory.

Meaning everything after this wouldn’t matter anymore. I wouldn’t remember it, so I might as well go all-in now, right?

Flashes of Rebekah slowing down to ride beside me. “Will you and Kyle be a thing?”

I blinked slowly, struggling to register her question and not be distracted by how her hair gleamed golden in the pale moonlight.

“Nah, we’re friends.” Why were my words so slurred? Damned Emmy and her cocktails.

“Hmmm.” Rebekah nodded slowly, watching me with an expression I couldn’t quite place.

“I think I like girls,” I blurted out.

“Really?” She nodded again, a thoughtful expression crossing her face. “I think I might like both. I’m not sure.”

I blinked, unsure if I’d heard it right. I struggled to focus on her face, but the edges of my vision blurred.

“Hey! Watch it!” Parker yelled, yanking me out of my daydream. “Will you fucking watch where you’re going?!”

My heart skipped a beat when I realized my bike had swung out to the left, just when he tried to bike past us.

“You watch it, asshole,” I spat back, glaring at him.

You should’ve hit him harder, make him fall headfirst into the bushes, my shadow whispered. Scratching him open until he fucking bleeds.

The last glimpse of sober Raya wondered if this was a sane thought to have before I pushed her into the corners of my mind, where she couldn’t ruin my night.

It was well past midnight when we made it into Catchphrase. I couldn’t disagree with Rebekah’s taste: this club was fucking amazing. Neon lights, live artists, and a spectacular opening show with fireworks on the terrace.