Page 44 of Against All Odds

But the moment I put the word in her mind, her subconscious mind immediately willed it into existence – apparently, that’s how it works for people with an imagination like hers. The blackened earth mirrored my grim expression back to me as I kneeled down to pick up the weapon and point it at the god-awful cartoon characters.

BANG. BANG.

Two well-aimed shots poked smoking black holes into the atmosphere. With the satisfying sound of paper crumpling, SpongeBog and Patrick dissolved into a thousand pieces.

Raya and I stared at each other, her body still shuddering with tears, me catching my breath. I dropped the bazooka; it bounced away from us as if it weighed nothing and gravity had no hold on it. It would be comical if it weren’t so devastating. The echo of the shots merged with the low buzz that would probably give her one nasty headache when she woke up.

“I’m done,” I said quietly.

“What?” Raya froze. “What do you mean, done?”

“I’m done with this assignment.” I clenched my teeth, averting my gaze so I didn’t have to look at her face. “You go find another guardian angel to clean up your messes. I can’t fucking stomach this anymore.”

“Are you leaving me?!” Her voice broke. She stepped closer, dropping to her knees. “No, please, don’t. I’ll be better. I’ll do anything; don’t leave me.” She tried to say more, but tears choked her voice.

“Stop talking.” I sharply turned. I couldn’t look at her face, shouldn’t fall for her manipulative tricks – much less her tears. Because if I stayed here for five seconds longer, I might cry, too. I’d forget the truth about who she was – a liar, a player, an addict – and crouch down beside her to dry her tears, and I would happily launch my own soul into Hell for a lifetime of it.

That wasn’t what I came here for.

“I’m here to set my karmic balance right and get into the higher realm,” I repeated loudly, a reminder to myself more than to her. “Clearly, that won’t work this way.”

The distorted air shuddered more helplessly. The flames lurched forward all of a sudden, tearing the scream right from my throat as the world around us melted into black.

Chapter 20.

Seren

“Jurrian!” Back in the liminal realm, I yelled out my mentor’s name from the top of my lungs. “Jurrian, I need to talk to you.”

I wasn’t sure if he would answer, or if he could even hear me. I’d never called him before – I couldn’t imagine having a reason to do so.

I flinched when the clouds parted and he appeared right beside me.

“Hello, Seren.” The frown on his face – replacing his usual serene, somewhat distant expression – should probably alarm me, but I was too riled up to care. “What is it you—”

“I want a different assignment.” I blurted out the words through gritted teeth, ferociously blinking back the tears that stung behind my eyelids. Damn it – I never cried, and now I was on the verge of tears all the time. “I’ve tried, Jurrian, I’ve given everything I can give – but I get nothing in return. I can’t do this any longer.”

I half expected him to have another lecture ready. But instead, Jurrian just studied me, his head tilted, slowly breathing out. I felt uncomfortable under his gaze, but I didn’t avert my eyes.

“I am afraid that won’t be possible,” he said finally.

My jaw dropped. “What the fuck do you mean?” I demanded, too distraught to watch my language in front of a celestial being.

“Once a soul is assigned a guardian angel, there are no takebacks or rearrangements. Either you accept it, or you accept your departure.” He paused, brows furrowing. “To the lower realm, I mean.”

Panic twisted my stomach. “There—there has to be a way,” I stammered. “Can’t you make an exception? Please?” My voice cracked, but Jurrian’s stark expression didn’t falter.

“Unfortunately, I do not make the rules. And even if I did, why would I grant you such a privilege? Did you think you were the first guardian to come back complaining?”

I clenched my teeth, refusing to give him the satisfaction of a response. Unfortunately, he took my silence as an invitation to proceed to the dreaded lecture.

“Being a guardian is not a punishment, but a chance to reset your karmic debt without a cleansing in the lower realm,” he continued. “A chance not everyone gets. It’s not meant to be easy, nor pleasant – some might argue the karmic cleansing is easier. More straightforward. You suffer, but you know you will suffer. There are no uncertainties, no variables, only facts. Being a guardian is to give, even when you get nothing in return.” He paused, his dark eyes scanning me critically. “That feels unnatural to humankind, hence why there’s so many black and gray souls lately. But it’s also a unique opportunity to grow. It is why so many choose to have children, even if they aren’t all fit to be parents.”

I clenched my teeth, glaring at him. I had to hold on to my anger, because the moment I let it slip, the tears underneath might spill over. “That’s fucking unfair.”

“Unfortunately, many things in life and death aren’t fair,” Jurrian replied smoothly. “What about all those people you defrauded with your business schemes? Would they consider it fair that the person who promised to help them proved only out to scrape their last pennies off them?”

The rage that still simmered underneath my skin now wanted to turn to him like a growling beast, to slap his smug fucking face and shoot him into the sun like I had done to SpongeBob and Patrick. Instead, my eyes narrowed, trying to poke holes into his skin with just my glare.