Page 38 of Against All Odds

Something flickered in her chestnut eyes – betrayal, hurt, disappointment? A small piece of her probably wished I would deny it, that the article was wrong and not her view of me. “That’s right, Seren. I found your mugshot, and the article about your death, too.” Her eyebrows rose. “Is it true? Were you murdered for scamming and defrauding innocents?”

Now I lowered my head, wanting to escape her prying gaze – the usual softness in her eyes replaced with the fire I feared. There was no point in denying it; she already knew. My clever little assignment had done the digging and come to her own conclusions. Of course, it was right there on the internet I no longer had access to, my full legal name along with the mugshot and my cause of death.

“Technically, I was murdered for swindling casino customers,” I muttered, rubbing my exposed arms. They suddenly felt uncomfortably cold as the breeze turned icy. Apparently, her emotions influenced her dreams, and I should tread carefully. “But… yes. I did have some… questionable ways of providing for myself.”

Raya scoffed – indignation, a strange and unpleasant sound from her mouth. “Wow, some angel.” She threw up her arms, the sarcastic laugh echoing through the library. “Who the fuck do you think you are to tell me how to live my life, then?” She pointed an accusatory finger in my direction, and I instinctively stepped back. “All this talk about saving my soul when you can’t even save your own? How are you going to lecture me on morals and love when you spent your life lying to people’s faces?!” She spat out the last word.

My face fell. This was bad. If she no longer saw me as a respectable figure of authority, she might no longer listen to me – and both our souls were doomed. Surely, that must be why her righteous anger stung so much.

“I’m confused.” My brow furrowed. “You know I’ve murdered two men, right? Well, technically I altered certain probabilities around them, but it resulted in their deaths – and you didn’t blink an eye. How are you okay with murder but not swindling?”

“Because the two are nowhere near the same!” I didn’t like how she looked at me – like she couldn’t believe someone could have things so twisted. “You murdered two men who wanted to harm me, who have probably harmed many other women. I didn’t blink an eye because you probably made the world a better place by taking them out. These people you scammed?” She threw up her arms, blinking ferociously. “The only people who fall for online scams are naive or desperate. Either they see the good in everyone, or they have lost so much, they’re willing to believe the friendly stranger on the internet, even if their promises sound too good to be true. Types who take advantage of that fucking disgust me.”

“That’s on them, then, isn’t it?” The words had left my mouth before I realized, and when I caught the flash of anger in her eyes, it was already too late. “The world is not a friendly place. If people need to learn that the hard way, then so be it.”

“My friend Kyle’s mom got scammed in a multi-level marketing scheme, did you know that?” Raya said quietly. “There was a time they weren’t doing well. His dad had just left and took most of their assets, and she was desperate to pay for his college degree. Some woman on the internet promised her to make an income online, work from home, flexible hours. All she had to do was buy her course at the great discount of €999 instead of the usual €1499, and she could resell it for the original price indefinitely. She was hesitant at first, but that person convinced her by playing on her emotions, and with stories of the supposedly dozens of satisfied customers she had already helped.” She clenched her fists, riled up by the memory. “Of course, she couldn’t find customers, because at this point, the market was already oversaturated. When she eventually demanded her money back, the scammer, of course, attributed his mom’s lack of success to…” She made air quotes, disgust dripping off her words, “…her weak mindset.”

I grimaced. I had personally never sold courses, but I’d been in various multi-level marketing schemes – courses were just another branch of the tree. “Look, I’m not proud of what I’ve done, okay? I was hungry, too. When you’re in need of money, you’ll be surprised how quickly you throw your principles out the window.” I raised my eyebrows. “Actually, I think you know what I’m talking about.”

Raya lowered her gaze. It was a low blow – we both knew about the drug dealing and the blowjobs. The air around us started to shimmer.

“Fuck,” she muttered, closing her eyes and taking a few deep breaths. “I need to get my emotions back under control. The dream will end if I get too riled up.”

I crossed my arms and waited. Interesting that she, despite her anger, apparently didn’t want our time together to end. A small flicker of hope.

“It’s not the same,” she continued when the room stabilized again. “Selling a product or service that people pay for is not the same as selling empty air and broken promises. I can’t imagine resorting to something like that.” Her eyes narrowed, and a different pain flickered in them. “In fact, I would more likely be a victim of such a scheme.”

“That’s not true,” I protested. “You’re way too smart.”

“Am I, Seren?” She scoffed. “Or do you judge me, too, for my dumb choices? For running to drugs and toxic girls? Do you look down on me like you did to your victims?”

I didn’t answer immediately. She raised her eyebrows expectantly.

With a sigh, I looked away, my eyes raking over the angelic portraits once more – my imaginary smiles now mocking me. “I’m working on it.”

“Working on what?” she taunted, putting her hands on her hips. “Basic empathy? Has your mother never taught you?”

Oh, she was on a roll.

“Wouldn’t know,” I said flatly. “My mother died when I was nine, along with the rest of my family, when our house burned down in front of my eyes.”

Her eyes widened. I immediately regretted the words I never intended to speak. Why the fuck did I just share that with her?!

“I’m sorry,” she said quietly. I flinched at the look on her face – sympathy. It was worse than anger, because I wasn’t used to it. I suddenly didn’t know how to respond.

I shrugged. “It’s in the past.”

“I didn’t realize at first.” Her glare softened. “That before you became my angel… you were…”

“Human?” I snorted. “And I’m no fucking angel, Raya. That’s what your mind made of me. I’m just a broken soul like you, trying to earn a redemption I most likely don’t deserve so I won’t have to burn in Hell.” I aggressively gestured to the angelic paintings – my eyes burned from looking at the white. Then, my gaze fixed on the darker portrait on the easel behind her.

“That one’s more accurate,” I said after a pause.

She blushed again, and I breathed a sigh of relief. “You must think I’m obsessed,” she muttered.

I didn’t reply right away. I didn’t have to think when the obvious truth was laughing in my face, painted in life-sized canvases of white and gold. What mattered was not how I felt about it, but how I handled it.

I cleared my throat. “You don’t have to be embarrassed, okay, but I do feel like we need to set some boundaries here.”