Page 29 of Against All Odds

Chance of [a football hitting Michael in the balls with such force, he will suffer lifelong damage] if [next time he passes kids playing football] → 40%.

Chance of [Michael getting hit in the balls with such force, he will suffer lifelong damage] if [he passes kids playing football the second time] and [the damage hasn’t happened yet] → 40%.

Chance of [Michael getting hit in the balls with such force, he will suffer lifelong damage] if [he passes kids playing football the third time] and [the damage hasn’t happened yet] → 40%.

And so on. Forty percent shouldn’t be high enough to raise suspicion, but by stacking the probabilities, the inevitable should eventually happen.

I felt invincible. Look at me, learning to code on a cosmic level.

In my short life, I’d encountered all sorts of criminal activity – and predatory men were everywhere. I had always felt protective of girls who couldn’t protect themselves. Still, it was somewhat scary how easily my blood boiled from all these sleazy men around Raya, and how murder had become my default reaction. I didn’t recognize this version of myself, nor did I know how to feel about it. But what else was I supposed to do as her own dumb decisions got her into trouble all the time?

Even more alarming was that she apparently now thought she could taunt fate by bringing goddamn dice to the club along with the pills, as if this was some game of chance. Clearly, someone needed to teach her a lesson – not a violent one, but a clear one. She didn’t need more trauma; she needed someone to hold her hand and gently yet sternly talk some sense into her.

I didn’t mind being that person.

“Astral projection?” Jurrian’s voice startled me. “I did not take you for the spiritual type, Seren.”

“What can I say?” Forcing a relaxed smile, I quickly put the book away. “Apparently, I’m a spiritual being now, so might as well read up on my new reality.”

Turns out the Celestial Library could be used in more ways than one. Not only did it spit out random books, it also responded to requests for information on certain topics. When I entered the library with a clear intention of what I wanted to learn, it was as if something larger than myself guided my feet to the right aisle.

But Jurrian did not need to know why I had sought out this topic.

After a brief hesitation, he sat down on the floor opposite me. Awkwardly shifting, he tried to relax against the shelves. I could tell the man wasn’t used to sitting on the floor. I bit my lip not to laugh.

“There’s something you should know,” he said abruptly. No small talk, no gentle introduction. My body stiffened, but life had taught me pokerface if nothing else. Keeping my neutral expression, my gaze met his. “What’s wrong?”

Jurrian sucked in a sharp breath, searching for the words. “I’m coming from an emergency meeting with Lexius, the chairperson of the Celestial Court.”

I smothered my laugh in my sleeve. The idea of the Celestial Court having something as mundane as a chairperson sounded hilarious to me, though my amusement quickly faded at his next words.

“They were informed that two men have dropped dead around your assigned since you started your assignment.”

My breath caught in my throat. I knew it was coming, and yet, the truth of it still hit me like a freight train. Instead of letting it show, I let out a regretful sigh before glancing up at him with the most earnest look I could muster.

“I actually wanted to talk to you about this,” I lied smoothly. As if I would confess my crimes to anyone when I didn’t think it necessary. “I have had a lot of time to reflect on my actions, and how to use my abilities more responsibly in the future. The driver, the first death, was an accident. The query I sent out was for Raya to get home safely; you can check the logs.” The moment I spoke the words, I wondered if ‘logs’ was the proper term here – just because I had been comparing probmanu to cosmic coding didn’t mean the celestial bureaucracy did the same. “As for the heart attack…” I lowered my head, trying to come up with a believable excuse, and realized the truth might be my best bet. “I acted out of rage… fear, I mean. I acted out of fear. You weren’t there. You don’t know the horror I felt when I tried saving her through small things, like a phone call and a fire alarm, and it only made him angrier.” My chest tightened, and I realized I wasn’t faking my distress about Raya. “I acted on impulse, but it wasn’t an excuse. I just couldn’t bear the idea of having to watch—”

“The Court has already investigated both situations,” Jurrian interrupted. I abruptly shut my mouth. “It turns out that our Peter had an underlying health condition, and given his age and lifestyle, this was not his first heart attack.” A hint of disgust broke through his otherwise unreadable expression – did my supervisor despise predators as much as I did? It was a small flicker of hope, though I wondered how much it mattered. “You are very lucky that the event did not raise suspicions among the authorities and was not clocked as supernatural interference.”

He paused deliberately, and a shudder ran down my spine as his dark eyes fixed on me. “However, they have also asked me to deliver a formal warning. I’ve heard you were present when Fabian was banished.” When I nodded, he continued. “Fabian had received his formal warning before, but chose to ignore it. While his reckless use of probmanu failed to plant a seed in his assigned, it has raised questions in the living souls around him – violating the most important rule of the assignment. Do not, under any circumstances, make yourself known to your assigned or other souls.” He zoned out for a moment, almost as if he was looking right past me. “Too many guardians make the mistake of taking shortcuts. I hope you understand, Seren, that shortcuts aren’t possible in this assignment. The Court will find out, and more importantly – karma always keeps the score. Do not forget that not me or the Court, but karma decides which realm you will depart for.” He paused, zoning back in. “Fortunately, murdering a rapist does not affect your karmic balance much, as the harm prevented counterbalances the negative effects of the murder – but surely, you understand that in all other cases, murder is not the way to steer yourself and your assigned soul toward the higher realm.”

I tried to swallow, but my throat suddenly felt tight. My formal warning. One more mistake, and I would be sent to Hell the same way Fabian had. The thought alone clammed my hands with sweat.

God, was I glad I hadn’t killed the bouncer now.

“I understand.” My voice sounded unsteady.

“I hope so.” Jurrian cleared his throat. “Speaking of your assigned, how’s Soraya doing?”

“Not good.” I grimaced, unsure why he still needed to ask. “I’m not making any progress with her. No matter how many times she nearly escapes an awful fate, it seems to only make her more reckless instead of grateful.” I breathed in sharply, irritation already returning. “As if she now thinks she can challenge fate herself.”

“Hm.” Jurrian nodded thoughtfully, pushing himself back to his feet with the stiffness of someone who hasn’t done stretching exercises in years. “That is, unfortunately, a very human habit, albeit a frustrating one.”

“So what do I do?” I asked after a brief hesitation.

“You learn patience, Seren.” He flashed a smile, the same one I’d seen earlier – all sadness, no joy. “You observe and listen with an open mind. I can tell you want to shake some sense into her – don’t deny it, I can see the look on your face,” he added when I opened my mouth. “You listen to what she tells you she needs, not what you think she needs.”

I scoffed – the disdainful noise had left me before I could stop it. “A bit hard when she wants to snort cocaine every damn day.”