Page 27 of Against All Odds

With those words, he stomped off in the direction of his room and slammed the door shut.

I let my breath escape with such force, my shoulders slumped.

Fuck.

The last thing I needed right now was another roommate conflict, and after yesterday, my skin crawled at the thought of sex work in any form.

I carefully locked the door behind me and kneeled beside the drawer. My hands trembled when I opened it, glancing down at the stash of pills.

Little did Pascal know, Ritalin wasn’t the only thing I’d stolen from him – and now, it seemed like I had no choice but to follow his advice and put on my big girl pants. It was a risk… but then I glanced back at the dice, and my heart skipped a beat.

Two, four, six. It had not been a dream.

Someone was protecting me. Let’s hope they would protect me tonight as well.

I breathed out a sigh of relief when I saw the bouncer at Catchphrase – a different one who hadn’t been there when I got kicked out last time. So far, so good.

I couldn’t tell if I was relieved or disappointed. If things had been different, I would’ve had an excuse to turn around and go home. Well, maybe hide from Pascal for a bit until I found another way to pay him back.

My heart raced in my throat when I queued up, the fifteen pills hidden in plain sight where I knew from experience they usually didn’t search.

Apparently, tonight was an exception.

“Now what the fuck is this?!” The bouncer’s sharp voice brought me back to reality. My breath hitched when he took the sandwich bag out of my inner pocket, the pills inside boldly grinning at him.

My stomach turned. How was this possible? I had always carried my drugs in this exact same spot – though never fifteen pills at once.

My eyes widened – over the years, I had mastered the act of innocence. “Oh, what are those? Pills? I must’ve taken the wrong sandwich bag. This one must be my roommate’s. They look identical.”

My heart raced faster when his eyes narrowed.

Oh, fuck. He was not having it tonight.

“Listen here, young lady,” he spat, gesturing to his colleague to deal with the growing queue while he took me aside. “I’m giving you one damn chance to tell me the truth. Are you a dealer?”

“I—I can explain.” My lip quivered – only partly an act. “No, I’m not a dealer; I’m a college student. These… these pills are for me. No, not all at once,” I quickly added upon seeing his frown. “I used to go to raves all the time during covid, when bars were closed. I couldn’t be bothered to pack just a few pills, so I always took the whole bag. I… I kind of forgot that wasn’t allowed now.”

“Covid was six years ago,” he said briskly. “This excuse might’ve been believable in 2022.”

I lowered my gaze, mentally cursing myself. What the fuck was I thinking? “Look, this is really just a misunderstanding. These pills aren’t mine; they’re my roommate’s. I promise not to do it again – in fact, I won’t even come here anymore.”

The bouncer sighed, though his frown softened slightly. “Fifteen is a lot; I’m sure you understand this. Legally, I have to turn you in to the police.”

“But you don’t want to,” I said carefully, locking eyes with him. Slowly, I took out the two dice. “How about this? We roll the dice. If they both land on six, you let me go. If they both land on anything else, you can hand me over. No more questions asked.”

For a tense moment, he just stared at me.

Then he slapped the dice away from me. They bounced down the stairs, eliciting curious looks. “What the fuck is wrong with you? Do you think this is some sort of game? This is real life, so I suggest you don’t make things worse for yourself.” He held out his hand. “Your phone and your ID. Let me consult with my colleagues while you wait there.”

While I waited in the side room, without a phone or my pills, I had nothing left to do but contemplate my decisions. His question echoed in my head, and so did Peter’s, the memory stirring disgust in my stomach.

What the fuck is wrong with you?

What happened to you that made you like this?

Was I even thinking straight lately? Was this something sober Raya would’ve done, the one without Ritalin and caffeine in her system and with a sufficient amount of sleep? Who even was the real Raya anymore? Everything barely felt real right now; it might as well be a never-ending dream. If I woke up right now, I wouldn’t be surprised. Not so easy to tell the difference when the most unrealistic things kept happening.

I glanced at the clock on the wall and counted the numbers. Still twelve, and the hands looked perfectly normal. I glanced down at my hands and counted ten fingers. Of course, the mercy of waking up would be too much to ask for.