Page 13 of Against All Odds

But I saw no reason to give her any more power over me than she already had.

“You wish.” I scoffed. “But of course you would think so. You always expect everyone to be in love with you, don’t you? Must be so hard being you.”

For a moment, something unexpected crossed her face – hurt? – before her glare returned.

“So Emmy and Tracy were right, then. You’re into Parker, that’s why you’ve been acting so weird.” She clenched her teeth. “How the fuck could you do that to me? Going after my boyfriend?! I thought we were friends.”

“So you’ve been talking about me behind my back? Fucking great.” I jumped up, too exhausted to control my anger. “Then why the fuck are you all still pretending to be my friends if you think I’m after your lame boyfriend? Why are you still going out with me if you all hate me for going off the rails every time?!”

“I don’t know, you tell me!” She jumped up as well, practically fuming from her ears. “Why don’t you just leave if you know no one wants you here? You always say that you’re going to change, but you never fucking do. We can’t even enjoy a nice night out together because it always ends in chaos, and it’s always because of you.”

“Who says I won’t fucking leave?!” I yelled back. Surely, we must’ve woken Emmy and Tracy by now, but I no longer cared. “Maybe I’ve already contacted the landlord to tell him I’m moving out next month.”

“Wait, you have?” Rebekah blinked, suddenly taken aback. “I mean, I didn’t mean you have to literally leave, like right now—”

“Too bad, then. It’s been decided.”

Without awaiting her reply, I stormed off to my room so she couldn’t see the tears in my eyes. I hadn’t yet contacted the landlord, but I was about to now.

On my laptop, because my stupid fucking phone was still nowhere to be found.

Chapter 6.

Seren

I had not expected the afterlife to be so fucking boring.

Time did not exist in the gray-clouded liminal space the way it did on Earth. There was no day and night, just unilinear time loops stretching into each other. According to Jurrian, you could will whatever you desired into existence in the higher realm, while the lower realm was the opposite – your worst fears became reality when you so much as thought about them. The liminal realm was an extremely boring mix between the two: things were the way they were, with very little entertainment. And I was mostly alone.

In my mortal life, I had always felt alone, even when surrounded by people – so that was nothing new. But I’d always had my ways of directing my mind elsewhere – often by hustling. I was constantly looking for new ways to make money, create an empire and expand it, inspired by people who were where I wanted to be. Now, with nothing but time and the weight of my conscience on my hands, I realized those people higher up the chain were most likely luring me with sweet promises to keep me where I was. Of course, I should’ve known this when I was alive – in every pyramid scheme, very few actually climb. But back then, I had somehow always thought that I would be among the few who had what it took.

Now, that felt awfully naive. I wasn’t special – just fearless, with a curious mind and the self-taught skills to survive. Such as the skill to hack various machines in the casino, so that the customer thought he had lost and my manager thought the customer had won while I took the money. It was just one of many scams I had orchestrated throughout my life, but by far my most successful one – maybe because the idea and execution were all mine.

Well, before I got murdered.

A few times per day, I had to descend to Earth and check in on Soraya, but hovering around her might be even more boring than hanging out in the liminal realm. I watched her cry as she ate alone in her new house, snort a line of leftover speed, attempt to study for her February exams, then cry some more and snort some more speed, telling herself it would help her better memorize her study material. I had breathed a sigh of relief when she’d left that first house, but now I realized her new situation might be worse. Her new home was one of those temporary housing programs to prevent squatters, and I was pretty sure her new roommates were crackheads, but it was all she could get on such short notice.

Still, I was glad I didn’t have to watch her twenty-four seven. I had no interest in watching Soraya shower or sit on the toilet – frankly, that would’ve made me feel like a creep. Sometimes, I had to wait a bit before I could walk through the portal to the living realm, and Jurrian had explained this as some divine block to prevent us from sneaking in at the wrong moments.

The more time passed, the more I resented my new arrangement. I felt powerless, and I’d never liked feeling powerless.

I discovered the Celestial Library by accident.

I was aimlessly pushing against clouds, like I had seen Jurrian do – after all, what other options does one have in such a bland afterlife? – when the fog parted. My jaw dropped at the space that unfolded before my eyes. Hundreds of aisles with bookshelves reaching all the way up to the gray clouds, the walls decorated with all kinds of geometric shapes I vaguely recognized from math classes. Of course, the whole thing bathed in various shades of gray with golden accents – from the stone walls to the shelves to the books themselves, though colors appeared when I took them out.

“Well,” I muttered to myself. “Seems like I have found my single source of entertainment.”

Sauntering past the aisles, my gaze darted over the spines, hoping to find some spicy dark romances – but unsurprisingly, the library had only non-fiction, and certainly nothing spicy.

When I got past my initial disappointment, I picked up a few books and found them surprisingly interesting. The library was full of titles such as ‘Good versus Evil: the Duality of Morality’, ‘The Perception of Reality: could we be living in a Dream, Simulation or Illusion?’ and ‘Order versus Chaos: the Patterns of the Universe’.

If someone had told me I would develop an interest in the universe’s mysteries when I was still alive, I would’ve laughed square in their face – then probably searched for ways to exploit their naivety and take their money. I’d never even been much of a reader in my mortal life. But then again, maybe I had never allowed myself the time to develop a hobby.

And with nothing but time on my hands, what else could I do but read?

“Thought I might find you here.”

I startled at Jurrian’s voice. Out of habit, I reached for the pocketknife I used to keep around my waist when I was still alive – only to realize I had no pockets in the afterlife, much less a pocketknife.