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He still believes I will stay. He thinks this is a beginning, not an ending.
I should correct him. The words are right there. Arlo, I’m taking you home, but I can’t stay. But they lodge in my throat, threatening to choke me.
“It sounds beautiful,” I whisper. And I mean it. In another life, it would have been everything.
He turns to face me fully, his expression softening into something so tender. “I’ve waited my whole life to wake up with you in my arms, Ali. To know what it feels like to start a day and have you be the first thing I see.”
My eyes burn. I love him. I know that with a certainty that lives in my bones, in every memory of every hardship we’ve survived together. But I can live knowing Arlo went home to his mom and sister, with no debt and a world of possibilities. I can picture him finding a woman he wants to grow old with, to have all those babies he wants that would never look like me. I would miss him until my chest caved in, but I’d survive it. If I had to let Kylian go . . .
The bond flares at the thought of him, sharp, undeniable and necessary in a way that defies logic. There is no version of the world, no timeline, no mercy of fate where I want to exist without Kylian in it. Even now, even here, I can feel him like a second heartbeat.
And that is why I know before Arlo’s arm slides around my shoulders, before I let myself be drawn down against his chest, before the fire burns low and his breathing evens into sleep. I know what I have to do.
I’ll take him home and leave him there, in the place he belongs, with the future he’s earned. I’ll take every medicine to Angie that I can possibly find, but I will return to Kylian because walking away from him would be like trying to live without air.
Arlo’s hand finds mine, lacing our fingers together. His heart beats steady against my ear, the soft thump of everything I am about to lose.
“I love you,” he murmurs, half-asleep. “I’ve always loved you.”
“I know,” I whisper, holding him back. “Me too.”
The door opens moments later, and Eagan walks in, but he doesn’t seem fazed by the sight of me in Arlo’s arms, silent tears tracking down my cheeks.
“Are you okay?” he asks through the mindlink.
I don’t know how to answer. I am the most sure I have ever been about what I want and what needs to be done, but the devastation of it all is crippling.
“You don’t need to answer. Kylian’s ship leaves for Malachor tomorrow. Arrangements to extend the trip to Purgatory have been made. ”
I sigh deeply and nod. Tomorrow is so soon, but Angie needs him now.
“I want to go with him,” I whisper. Eagan watches me carefully. “He won’t get on the ship if I don’t.”
“And once you get there?”
More tears escape my eyes, dripping onto Arlo’s sleeve beneath my head.
Eagan nods and retrieves his book laying on his bed. He doesn’t ask which man I’m planning to destroy, but he understands what it’s costing me.
I hold Arlo a little tighter, letting the sound of his heartbeat lull me to sleep.
CHAPTER 60
• Alessia •
AS MY EYES open, my bedroom comes into view, along with the knowledge that I am no longer lying with Arlo.
I’m draped across a very different body, my legs on either side of his waist, my cheek pressed against his chest, and his arm loosely around my lower back.
The bond hums quietly beneath my skin, not painfully, not pulling or aching, and for the first time in ages it feels calm.
I’m so confused by how I got back to my bedroom or how Kylian ended up here with me. He’s been sleeping in his office for days, and when we last spoke, he was so angry.
Maybe Eagan carried me here after I fell asleep.
Kylian brings one hand up to tangle in my hair as the other pushes the blanket off us, and I lift my head to look at him. I didn’t realize how much I’d missed the calm feeling I get when he holds me.
He startles momentarily. “I didn’t mean to wake you,” he murmurs, his voice rough like he was caught doing something he shouldn’t. For a moment, I just stare at him, taking in his sleep-tousled hair and heavy-lidded eyes, but all I can think about is the stack of papers in his office.
