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My stomach drops, and my hands tighten on his arms. “Why, what did they say?” I ask, my voice is shaking. “Arlo, what is it?”
His grip tightens on the letter until it crinkles in his hand, and when he looks at me, the devastation in his eyes is so complete that I feel it tear through me like it’s my own.
“Angie’s dying.”
CHAPTER 59
• Alessia •
I STAND OUTSIDE Kylian’s office door, hand hovering with hesitation, for longer than I care to admit.
I need to speak to him about getting Arlo home to Angie, but I’m not sure what he will say. He has halted all movement to Purgatory after our supply ship was ambushed by Draven. He was leaving to see Xavian soon, so maybe we could work something out. I’m under no disillusion that he wants Arlo to stay here.
I finally push the door open without knocking. Kylian’s at his desk, head bent over a stack of papers. He doesn’t look up when I enter, but I feel the bond flare between us immediately, undeniably. It always does with him.
“I will send Arlo back to see his sister. You don’t need to ask,” he grumbles.
“That’s not the only reason I’m here,” I say, but the tension in my body eases with his words. “I can’t figure it out.” My voice sounds strange, hollow.
His pen stills and his gaze lifts to me. “Figure out what?”
“Why you stopped me from killing Arlo.” I step closer, my hands curling into fists at my sides. “I have been over it in my head a million times. You could have let me kill him. You know he wouldn’t have stopped trying to reach me. He would have been out of your way for good. I don’t understand.”
Something shifts in his expression. He stands, moving around the desk with that predatory grace that makes my pulse stutter. “You think I would let you kill him?”
“You hate him.”
“I despise him.”
He’s so close now that I have to tilt my head back to meet his gaze.
“But I would not let his blood stain your hands. Not then. Not ever.”
The air leaves my lungs in a rush. I stare at him, really stare, searching for the lie I expect to find. But there’s nothing there except raw, exposed truth, and it terrifies me more than anything ever has.
He stopped me because he cares. Because he loves me enough to save the man I love, even when it costs him everything.
“And make no mistake, little mage. Arlo is not in my way. Because nothing is standing between us but your own stubbornness.”
I swallow hard, my voice barely a whisper. “You’ve done nothing but avoid me.”
He doesn’t answer. His hands flex at his sides like he wants to reach for me but won’t let himself.
“What did he have to say?” Kylian asks abruptly, and the shift makes me blink.
“Who?”
“Arlo.” The name is a snarl. “After you left the training grounds. What did he say when you ran to him?”
I flinch and look away. “I didn’t. I couldn’t face him, and he didn’t want to talk about it today.”
When I look back, Kylian is staring at me like I’ve grown a second head. “You didn’t go after him?” Something complicated moves across his face. Shock, I think. And something darker. “You didn’t run straight to your beloved boyfriend and let him comfort you?”
“I do love him,” I say, but the words feel wrong in my mouth. “But he doesn’t understand the bond, Kylian. He can’t. I don’t know how to explain it to him. I don’t know how to make him see that what I feel for you isn’t—” I stop, frustrated, my hands trembling.
His eyes flash, and suddenly he’s angry. “So you’ve been pushing me away out of fear?” He advances on me, and I force myself not to step back. “You’ve been rejecting what exists between us not because you don’t feel it, but because you’re terrified of what Arlo might think?”
I look away, how does he not see that I can’t hurt Arlo that way. “You care more about his comfort than your own truth. You would rather tear yourself apart than admit that what we have is real, is binding, is something he will never be able to replicate or replace?”
