Page 17

The lycan guard attempts to rip her away from me, and for just a heartbeat, I manage to grip the tips of her fingers. Our hands tremble so hard that we can barely hold on, then the butt of a gun slams into my head.

Agony explodes, white, then black, and I crumple under the impact.

“ALEEESSIA!” Sable’s raw voice shreds me to pieces as I crawl to my hands and knees, the world spinning around me.

“Don’t fucking touch her!” Arlo charges the guard who hit me, slamming both hands into the lycan’s chest and knocking him back a step. The man staggers but lands a heavy fist into Arlo’s face, and he collapses instantly.

“Arlo!” I shout, trying to get back up, but a big boot slams into my stomach, knocking all the air from my lungs. Darkness rushes in, and a vivid memory crashes over me.

Mama is dead, and I am ten years old with Sable’s hand in mine, walking the broken road into town. She is tiny and sniffling and confused.

“My feet hurt, Lissa,” she whimpers, tugging my sleeve.

“My feet hurt too,” I whisper. I don’t remember the walk into town taking so long when Mama took us, yet the path seems never-ending.

“Lissa,” she whines, dragging her feet.

“We are nearly there,” I say, but she pulls back harder.

“My feet hurt,” she whimpers again. I stop and peer down. Her toes are bleeding and raw. When they came for us, Mama didn’t have time to find her shoes.

I bend down, knees shaking, clutch her against me with a heavy groan, and lift. She is half my size, and it takes all my strength to lift her. She wraps her arms around my neck, and I continue walking.

“Mama isn’t coming back for us, is she?”

My throat closes. I want to lie, tell her that Mama just went to visit the caves, but she heard her screams, even as I shielded her from watching.

Sable saw nothing, but I know she heard it.

When I shake my head, she sobs into my shoulder, and tears burn my eyes, knowing I’m at fault. If I hadn’t grown the field of sunflowers . . .

“You still have me, Sable.”

She straightens, wiping her tear-streaked face, and holds up her pinkie. “Promise I’ll always have you?”

“I can’t truly promise that. I know enough of the world to know that the Arcanum was right to hide from it, that there is just as much evil as there is light. Mama always said there’s no such thing as pure light or pure dark. We’re all made of both. Fire and ash. Bloom and blood. Magic doesn’t care if you’re good or evil, it only cares what you’re willing to give.” I recite the practiced lines Mama told me so many times, then look at my sister’s confused face. “Mama gave her life to take theirs.”

Sable gasps and pulls back in realization. “I want to go home, Lissa!” she cries, thrashing in my arms until I drop her. She takes off back the way we came.

Mama’s words bounce around my head as I go after her.

Promise me, Alessia. Promise you’ll never leave her alone.

I catch up to Sable quickly and lunge with arms outstretched. We hit the dirt, and I try to pin her thrashing body beneath mine.

“We can’t go home, Sable! It’s gone!”

“I want Mama,” she cries.

“She’s gone, Sable. I’m here, just stop fighting me.”

“Promise, Lissa. You have to promise you won’t leave me!” Sable goes perfectly still in my arms.

“Don’t make me promise, Sable. I can’t.” It’s the words I wish I could have told Mama, because maybe if I had refused, if I had told her I couldn’t take care of Sable, maybe she would have fought harder to stay with us. “I can’t, I—”

“She lied. Mama lied. She said she would come back for us.” She breaks right in front of me, her sobs splintering something inside my chest. For a moment, her body goes limp, then like a rabid animal, she tries scratching and hitting to escape my arms.

“Fine!” I scream. “I promise.” My vision blurs with hot tears. “I will always come for you. I will always find you, no matter where we go.”