Page 51

Sitting at Silas’s desk, I go back a couple of pages. My mind is reeling. Is it possible Silas was telling the truth that the Aziza’s started the war, that my bloodline was the reason for all this destruction? Mostly I want to know who the woman was to Silas. I read, completely consumed in Silas’s thoughts. But the only thing I can figure from his writing is that he loved her. It doesn’t say what happened to her or where she went. I return the journal to the shelf. I search for the next year, hoping to get some answers, when Silas comes in.

“There you are. I have been looking for you,” he says, moving to sit on the edge of his desk. Glancing toward the windows, I see the sun going down and hadn’t realized how long I had actually been sitting reading. The entire day seems to have passed.

“What are you looking for?” Silas asks, standing behind me.

“The next year,” I tell him while going to retrieve the next one. He stops my hand from grabbing it and I see worry in his eyes as he looks at it.

“What?” I ask. Maybe he changed his mind and didn’t want me to read them anymore.

“Nothing, it didn’t bother me then but there are some things I don’t want you to know now,” he says, staring down at me.

“Why?” I ask.

“Because before I didn’t care if I upset you, that you knew. But now that you’re sort of trying, I don’t want you to change your mind. I don’t want you to hate me more than you do,” he says, grabbing it from the shelf. “This wasn’t a good year,” he says, flicking through the pages.

“Why?” I repeat.

“Because that’s when the war started, when the treaty was broken and when…” He doesn’t finish. But I know what he didn’t say.

“Blaire?” I ask, gazing up at him. He nods and his eyes dart away from mine.

“I won’t read it, then,” I tell him. I see how upset he just got over her name. His jaw is tense and his knuckles white, clutching the journal just at the mention of her name which confuses me.

“I know you loved her,” I tell him, taking the book from him and placing it on the shelf. Silas doesn’t answer, just stares back at me.

“I also know I look like her, that she was an Aziza,” I tell him. He still says nothing, and I can see behind his snake-like eyes a storm of emotion is brewing which he shoves them away and his eyes soften.

“Come on, I want to take you somewhere.”

Silas leads me to the front of the castle, stopping near the front doors. “Where are Dragus and Matitus?”

“At the power station,” Silas answers while wrapping a cloak around me and handing me some socks. I go to put some shoes on when Silas shakes his head.

“You don’t need shoes, you won’t be touching the ground,” he says, making me look at him in confusion. I stand, wondering what he meant when he grabs me. I wrap my legs around his waist, my arms going to his shoulders, which are bare and very warm under my palms like a space heater. The heat from his chest is the hottest part of him and I can feel it warming me through the cloak. Silas’s hands move to my ass as he walks outside. The freezing icy breeze blows my hair in my face, and I let go of his shoulder with one hand brushing it from my lips.

Silas walks onto the gravel area near the stairs. He presses his forehead against mine and one hand wraps around my waist, holding me tighter against him. “Hold on, I am about to jump,” he whispers, looking up and I grip his shoulders, feeling him move slightly. He springs off the ground effortlessly. “You can open your eyes, Lora,” he says, brushing his nose across my cheek. I do and see that we are on the roof. Silas carries me to the edge and sits, turning me around on his lap, my feet dangling off the edge. I peer over the edge and feel his grip around my waist get tighter as I lean forward.

Silas pulls a watch from his pocket, checking the time then nestling his face into the crook of my neck. He kisses it softly, making me shiver and he chuckles.

“What are we doing up here?” I ask, confused.

Why is he making me freeze out here?

“So impatient. Do you have any idea how hard it was turning the power on when half the transformers were blown up?”

I shake my head, not even knowing what the hell he is talking about.

“I can’t even remember the city ever having power. The only time I ever saw electricity was here and a few places that had solar panels or used generators,” I tell him. Grandma and I had power at our last place but that was because of the generator we found on a trash heap and still only the kitchen had power. We used it for a lamp as well sometimes. Fuel was too expensive, so mostly we used the fireplace for light at night and only turned it on during the day for a few hours to get the old fridge cold enough to last night.

Silas says nothing but nods against my shoulder. He glances at his watch again and points toward the city. First, the streetlights turn on, flickering for a few seconds, then suburb by suburb, lights start turning on. Neon signs I had never seen before light up in the distance, and I hear and see people coming out of their houses and standing in the streets gazing at the houses and buildings lighting up like Christmas trees. Voices get louder and echo into the night with excitement that they have power. I know the feeling and can’t help but feel excited for them. I know exactly how hard living by candlelight is, exactly how hard it is to force yourself into the freezing water of a shower in the middle of winter, and most of all, I know the feeling of being constantly sick from the cold. Maybe now the winters won’t kill so many people.

“Look how happy they are,” I whisper, speaking to myself. I can’t remember the last time I felt happy. In this city, there wasn’t much to be happy about, but seeing and hearing everyone in the streets excitedly cheer and run around amazed me, brought a smile to my lips. If only grandma was here to see it, to see the power back on. I wonder if Lilith and her mother and Abigail and her family would be happy to have the power restored.

“I enjoy seeing you smile,” Silas says, kissing my cheek making me look at him.

“Thank you,” I whisper, pecking his lips. Hearing the crunch of snow, I feel Silas turn, looking behind him, and I peek over his shoulder. Matitus and Dragus walk over to us. Matitus and Dragus sit next to us, Matitus naked.

“Did you fly here?” I ask. He nods, taking a seat beside Silas, and Dragus sits next to me. Matitus hisses at his naked skin sitting on the snow. “Well, that’s one way to get blue balls.’’ I snort and so does Dragus beside me.