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“Tell me,” I was curious to hear what he was going to say. He stared at me intensely before he went on to spill it.

“I want you out the club,” he looked me in my eyes when he said it. I didn’t respond when he said that. I knew there was more for him to say, so I allowed him to keep the floor.

“Not even on no controlling shit, either. You know I don’t try to control shit that you do. I support everything you do. Tonight opened my eyes though. A nigga can find himself having beef with me in the streets, and he’ll go to my lady. My soft spot. I don’t like that feeling. I don’t like a nigga feeling like they got one up on me. You ain’t gotta take what I’m saying and feel where I’m coming from tonight. I’m just being real with you,” he said, and I nodded.

“You told me that I didn’t have to stop dancing until I got pregnant,” I replied. He looked at me long and hard after I said that.

“I also told you that you be bullshitting when it comes to taking your pills. Your period was supposed to come on early this week. I been fuckin you all week, Deja. I ain’t see no tampons in the trash. You haven’t been crying about period cramps. You talking about I said that you don’t gotta stop dancing until you get pregnant. My love, you might be already there,” he shut my ass up once he said that.

I mean, I didn’t have a damn thing to say. I knew my period was late, but I’ve also been convincing myself that it was going to come on soon.

Wolf looked at me as if his ass knew something that I didn’t know. That stare was way too intense for me, so I ended up dropping my head.

Damn! If he was right, this was going to change everything. Here I am, thinking that I had a few years left to give the pole. If I was pregnant, I know without a doubt that this strict ass nigga was going to make me put down my dancing shoes.

CHAPTER 20

ANARI JOSEPH

“Why you putting another pot on the stove? Meka, we already got all this shit running on the stove. Move out the way!” my auntie fussed at my mom.

We were in Orlando right now, staying in this beautiful Airbnb that had me wishing we could stay forever. This was the kind of home that made me feel like a young kid again. Granted, I just turned eighteen today, so technically, I was still a young kid, but the home made me feel even younger. Made me feel happy, and like I didn’t have to take life so serious. Maybe it was the arcade in the garage. Maybe it was the big movie theater on the second floor. It could have been the Disney inspired movie themes in some of the bedrooms, or even the big pool outside in the backyard. All I know is that when we made it to this home yesterday evening, I felt happier.

Everyone in my life was so concerned about my happiness these days. They wanted to go out of their way to make sure I was in a good head space, so for weeks, they all wanted to know what I wanted to do for my birthday. I was very simple. I hadn’t reached that point in my life where I craved to have material things, a lot of money, and designer clothes. I liked simplicity.

I told my family that the only thing I wanted was for us to go to Orlando, stay in a nice home together, and hit up Magic Kingdom. Magic Kingdom has always been my favorite Disney park. My mom used to take us when we were young. We haven’t been since I was in middle school though.

As a family, we all went to Magic kingdom this morning. We didn’t leave until a little after eleven this morning. We were waiting for Deja to get here. She took the Brightline train here, and then an Uber to the house. Once she was here, we gave her a little time to freshen up and throw on one of the custom family birthday shirts we were all wearing today.

We stayed out there to the park until a little after seven. I got on every single ride. Even though Nico was a baby, there were little things that I could get on with him as well. My baby got on “it’s a small world”, he did Dumbo, and Winnie the Pooh. Nico was such an emotional baby, always crying, so I didn’t think he was going to like the rides, but my baby enjoyed it. Just seeing the gleam in his yes, made me a little emotional because if my plan to leave this world had worked, I wouldn’t have been around to witness today.

Because I was the birthday girl and I requested spaghetti for dinner, that’s what my mom, aunt, and grandma were in the kitchen throwing down on. My uncle Troy was here too, but he was out in the backyard smoking. My mom’s best friend Arielle, who was also Deja’s godmom was here, and she was sitting right next to me on the stool. Eden had come and she brought baby Selah with her. Selah was such a cool, calm baby, much different from my son, who cried all the time. He’s been that way since he was born. That crying, and the constant need to always want to be held is what almost drove me over the edge. My sister plays such a huge part in why Nico always wants someone to hold him. Even right now, the two of them were in the family room area right behind us, knocked out on the couch. Deja was lying on her back, with Nico resting on her chest and they’ve been like that for the past hour.

“I was going to make a small pot for Deja on the side. Since I’m in here cooking, she’ll swear that I purposely put the sausages in the spaghetti, knowing that she doesn’t eat them. I don’t feel like hearing her damn mouth,” my mom said, picking up her wine glass, and she took a quick sip out of it.

“I thought Nari was the one that didn’t eat sausage,” my grandma chimed in.

“Nari won’t eat Italian sausage. She’ll eat the smoked sausage that we have right here. Deja won’t eat sausage period,” my mama threw in.

I sat back, watching the exchange take place. My mom and Deja had the worst relationship possible, but at the same time, my mom knew her children. She could name everything I didn’t eat, and I know she could do the same for Deja.

My mom and auntie Twan continued to fuss in the kitchen because my aunt was annoyed that my mom was adding another pot to the stove and possibly giving them more dishes to wash.

“Nari, you better go wake that baby up. He going to have you up all night,” my grandma fussed.

“He going to have Deja up all night. I told her that if she lets him fall asleep, he was going to sleep in her room tonight,” I said.

I sat back, waiting for dinner to finish. My uncle eventually walked in the house, bringing that loud aroma of weed with him. The second he walked in and we all got a whiff of it, everyone started snapping on him simultaneously.

“There ya’ll go with the bullshit. The food still not ready? A nigga been outside for a little minute. I smoked a blunt, called a few hoes, and ya’ll still in the same spot ya’ll was in when I walked out,” my uncle Troy complained.

I had a hot and cold relationship with my uncle. I loved him, but he could also get on my damn nerves. When he came home from prison a couple of months ago, he found himself trying to check me because I had a baby. Granted, I knew he was going to have something to say once he saw me, but sometimes, he could go overboard. He tried to do the same thing to my sister. He got on her about stripping, and Deja hasn’t been fooling with him ever since. All day, she’s been ignoring him. My sister was the queen of holding a grudge. There’s literally no telling when the two of them would ever speak again.

“Troy, don’t come in here with that. I will put your ass out,” my grandma fussed at him. I laughed while turning to look at my uncle. He was so hood and couldn’t help it.

My uncle was very handsome though. He looked just like my mom and my aunt Twan. He was only 38, but he moved like he was 28. You could tell that his last prison stay really changed him because he got out of that fast life he was living before going in. In prison, he learned how to cut hair, so now that he was free, he’s working at a barbershop back in Miami. I was the one that made an Instagram page for him, so he could show off his work.

My uncle would post his reels, client photos, and all of that. He was doing pretty good with that too. Always telling us he was always booked. He was the cool uncle when he could be because when I told him about the trip to Orlando, I knew he was going to turn it down, but here he was, even though he’s been getting on everyone’s nerves since yesterday.