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“Hitta, fuck you! I’m supposed to suck your dick because you looked out for me and made sure that I made it to work and didn’t have to get in the car with a fuckin stranger? Yeah, you doing all of that, but can you look me in my eyes and tell me that you haven’t been fuckin any other hoes? I was just in a section two days ago and I heard a bitch telling her friend how you just fucked her the other night. I don’t see how the fuck Poison was putting up with this shit with you for years,” she spat, taking her seatbelt off. This time, I was the one to laugh in her face.

“You bitches not built like Poison. That’s why,” I knew it was going to be hurtful to hear me say that, but this bitch was talking crazy to me.

I felt like I extended my hand to her tonight. I looked out, made sure she made it to work, and all she’s been doing is talking shit from the moment she got inside the car with me. She didn’t even thank me for bringing her to work.

“Yeah and you not built like her new nigga, either. He left her with one hundred g’s the other day just for the fuck of it,” she talked shit, opening the door, so she could get out.

Like it was a joke, and like what she just told me didn’t sting, I laughed in her face. I laughed because I was getting ready to tear her ass apart. I knew that nigga gave Deja flowers, and a hundred bands. Multiple niggas called me, telling me about that shit. Deja blocked me on social media, so I didn’t see the post, but so many people took screenshots of it and sent it to me. That fuck nigga broke the internet when he did that. Then, right after he gave her the money and flowers, Deja went live on Instagram. So many of the blogs screen recorded the live, mostly showing the clip when he walked in the house, and you could see the two of them together. I knew I wasn’t getting my bitch back. She was living with this nigga. Showing all fuckin 32 of them big ass teeth when she was standing in front of him. As if it didn’t hurt my chest when I saw it, here goes this bitch bringing it up again.

“You sound like you want to fuck that nigga. Dick riding ass ho. You already fucked the last nigga that she was with, and you pregnant by me. Damn, I wasn’t enough? You want to fuck her new nigga too?” I asked it in a sarcastic way as she removed herself from my car. Like she wasn’t fazed by what I was saying, she got out and picked up her duffle bag. She did this while cracking up.

“Me, and every bitch in the world would fuck that nigga if we had the chance to. Fuck you, Hitta! Don’t worry about coming back to pick me up tonight. I’ll find my own way home,” she said that like it was going to hurt my feelings.

“Bitch, you can walk home for all I care. Should have done that shit in the first place!” I snapped.

She had me heated. I knew that I’d pissed her off too because she slammed my door like she was trying to break that motha fucka. I didn’t even check her stupid ass about that. I let her walk away. She did all this shit talking, but she’ll be hitting my line tomorrow, crying, saying that she hated when I was mean to her.

I really tried to be a good person to Joy, but I don’t think it would ever happen between us. I didn’t ever see us getting to a place where Deja and I used to be. I had too much resentment towards her. I know I played my part because I should have been strapping up when I was fuckin her, but I’ll always look at Joy as the reason why I lost Deja. Because I so strongly felt this way, I knew that the two of us would never get it right.

As I sat here, I looked around the parking lot, noticing that I didn’t see Deja’s car. If she had to work tonight, I know that she would have been here already because it was after nine. Before I could question the shit any longer, I saw her Range Rover pulling up on the other side of the lot. She went two rows ahead of me, backing into a parking spot. I was going to pull out, but I sat here for a moment.

I wanted to see what her next move was going to be. I wanted to see if she was by herself. Granted, I doubt she pulled up with her nigga, but I still wanted to wait it out. Maybe that nigga was pussy whipped like how I’d been during the beginning stages of my relationship with Deja. When I first got a dose of that pussy, I used to drop her off to work, and when her shift was over, like a dummy, I would be in the parking lot waiting on her. I don’t think there’s another bitch in the world that could have the power to make me do that shit. The only reason I did it tonight for Joy is because she was pregnant with my child, and I really would have felt bad if I sat back and made her figure it out on her own tonight.

Seeing that she was alone, I quickly shut the car off. I stepped out and closed the door behind me. I did a fast jog in the parking lot, wanting to make it over to her before she started walking in the direction of the club. I knew Deja wasn’t going to want to see me, but I wanted to see her. Shit, I just wanted to talk to her.

The last time I pulled up on her at her apartment, she had that nigga open the door, so I couldn’t pour my feelings out to her. Hopefully, she will give me the opportunity to do it tonight.

When I reached her, she was standing behind her car with the trunk open. I caught her as she pulled out two duffle bags. It was dark, with not too much light in the parking lot, so the second she felt a presence, she jumped. She saw that it was me, rolled her eyes, and pressed the button on her trunk to lower it. She didn’t give my presence much thought or too much energy because she attempted to walk away, but I blocked her from leaving.

“Deja, wait. I know you pissed at me, but damn. Just give a nigga a second to apologize. I thought we were supposed to be better than that,” I bargained, still standing in front of her, not wanting her to get by.

I haven’t been this close to her in a while. I missed so much about her, man. Her smell. Her laugh. The shit she used to talk. The weird shit she used to do like sit on my lap and pop a pimple that I might have gotten on my forehead. The way she would practice a facial on me. The times she would wash my dreads, and re twist them for me. The food she used to make for me. I can’t tell you the last time I had a home cooked meal. Joy didn’t cook for a nigga and if she did, her food was always bland.

I miss the sex. A bitch will never fuck like Deja. I’m sure of it. I miss the kisses. The times she would swear we were going to have a movie night, only to lie on me and fall asleep ten minutes into the movie. I lost this girl and I’ve been fucked up in the head ever since.

“Hitta, move! You know how I feel about doing this shit at my job. Move!” she spat.

“You got a nigga blocked. I can’t call you or text you. I can’t reach out on social media because you got me blocked on there too. You know I always respected your rule about not bringing our shit to your job. It’s just that I saw you and I wanted to come over and say something. You know I never meant for shit to go down like that that night. I was smoking. I had a little too much to drink, and I had just lost a bunch of money. You started talking crazy and I⁠—”

“Hitta, none of that shit means nothing to me anymore! We’re done. Go find your bitch. She has a set tonight. Go watch her. I’ve moved on. I love where I’m at and I love who I’m with. Move!” she spat, pushing my ass this time, but I moved right when she moved right. I didn’t want to let her go because I wasn’t sure when I would be this close on her again.

“Fuck you mean you love who you with? It’s only been a minute that you’ve been with him. That shit ain’t love, yo. I know fuckin well you don’t love that nigga the way you love me. I know I didn’t handle you the way I was supposed to, but Deja I love your ass man. I fucked hoes, but damn, I’m a young nigga. I was going to get it right eventually⁠—”

“And while you get it right, I was supposed to sit my ass there and wait? Nigga, you were playing with my fuckin health! I used to ask you if you were fuckin those hoes without protection and you told me you would always strap up. I don’t know why I would even believe that shit, knowing that you would lie to me about everything else. I’m not like the rest of these strippers in here, and you know that! I don’t fuck every nigga that comes in here, just because they throw money at me. Most of these hoes in here do that. Your hoe for example. You was fuckin that bitch raw, then coming back to fuck me. You didn’t give a fuck about my health!” she screamed at me. I didn’t say anything. I let her get her point across.

“If you loved me like you claim you do, then I know that’s not the kind of love I ever want to experience again. Hitta, you blacked my eyes. You busted my lip. I had bruises damn near all over my body. That’s not love. My new nigga don’t even raise his voice at me. I feel secure where I’m at. I can come to the club and work my shift without having to worry about him running the streets, fuckin hoes. I never had that kind of security when I was with you. You used to damage my nervous system. Tell your bitch to post a link in the club’s group chat for your baby registry and I’ll get something off there. That’s the only love you’ll get from me,” her dumb ass tried to be funny, putting her hand on my chest to push me out of the way and then she finally walked away this time. She walked away because I gave her the chance to.

I didn’t bother running behind her. If she wanted to leave, I was going to let her.

Never wanting to give a bitch the power to see me sweat, I walked away, heading for my car. The second I was inside, Ced sent me a text, asking where I was. I texted him back, letting him know I was leaving the club, and I would be at the location that Preston gave us in about fifteen minutes.

I didn’t know much about the location for tonight. Preston put me and Ced in a group chat this morning, sending a location, telling us that we could come down tonight. I tried to look the address up, but nothing came up. Just land. Ced told me that he felt like the location might have been a warehouse or something.

I didn’t have to wonder much longer because eventually, the navigation led me down a long dark street. Just like Ced predicted, there was a warehouse sitting at the end of the road. You could look at the building and tell it was new. Shit was nice too. Even though it was dark out, there was minimum lights that shined down on the building. Gray building with a black trim. There wasn’t a name or anything being advertised in front of the building, making me wonder if Preston and his crew were inside doing illegal shit.

There was a parking lot, that housed a few cars. Ced’s car was here and I could tell he was inside because his lights were on. I parked right next to him and the second I got out of the car, he stepped out as well.

“All this to put some parlays in? What kind of shit you think this cracka on?” I asked.