Page 81 of Bound to Three Fae Beasts

Life in the Academy hadn’t changed on the outside. Everything was so utterly the same it made me want to scream. But I didn’t. I kept my head down. I studied. I practiced. I worked with Silas and Freta to strengthen all our magic. Tried to get Silas’s beast to come out.

It was after a long, hard day that I returned to my dorm to find a letter on my pillow. The envelope had my name written on it, so I sat on my bed and opened it.

Azriel, it read, I know this letter will come as a surprise to you, but there are things you must know. I am the one that arranged for your placement at the Binding Academy. By now, you no doubt know your past is not what you were told. You must have many questions, and one day soon, you will have answers.

I’m sorry to hear your friend was killed. I’m sorry you are going through this pain. You must remain strong, Azriel. You must fight against the seductive bliss of oblivion and fight for yourself. There is more at stake than just your life. For the sake of your other friends, and for the very world, you must keep yourself alive.

Your answers will come soon. Have faith. Question everything you were told about your past. Your father is not what you were told.

I read it twice, not fully understanding what it was saying. I turned it over, but the back was blank. Whoever got me here was still watching me? If they could give me answers ‘soon,’ then why not now? And what was this about my father?

I crumpled the letter and threw it into the fireplace. No. It had to be some sort of cruel prank. Something to get my hopes up. I’d bet it was Flora or Savannah. Someday soon they’d bring it up and make that hope come crashing down.

Your father is not what you were told. Was he the fae, then? Was he a shape-thief, like me?

I shook my head, angrily changed into my nightclothes, and went to bed. When Freta came to the dorm, I pretended to be sleeping. But I didn’t sleep that night, too caught up in the whirlwind of thoughts and questions.

***

Your father is not what you were told.

Those words kept bouncing around my head constantly. I found myself coming up with even more wild and implausible scenarios to answer what that might mean. Maybe he was part of Court Laurel. Maybe he was a member of a secret resistance group. Maybe he was Headmaster Quincy. Maybe I didn’t have a father and I just spontaneously emerged from the ether a fully-formed person and my memories of the orphanage were all lies because I didn’t exist until I stepped foot on the Academy grounds.

I didn’t want Freta and Silas to get caught up in whatever insanity was happening, so didn’t say anything. They assumed that my further withdrawal was due to grief over Penry.

And all the while, whenever I saw any of the golden boys, I wanted to run over to them. Even Gareth, despite barely spending any time with him. I wanted to wrap myself up in their arms, as though that would keep me safe.

Jasper was the one that filled my thoughts the most. It wasn’t fair! He hadn’t done anything wrong, and yet he was treated like he was diseased. He was going to have his body permanently altered because of something that he didn’t have control over. Something that could easily be achieved other ways. Contraceptives were available. I’d stolen a handful of potions to prevent pregnancy now, so why did they have to castrate him to ensure he never had kids?

It was all about humiliation and control. Punishment for his wrong beast. Otherwise, he’d be allowed to have chaste romance. I’d done a bit more digging. Even after the castration, he would continue to be forbidden romantic relationships. If it was just about not passing on the genes, they wouldn’t need to forbid romance after the surgery.

At night, I thought about the way it had felt to have his lips on my neck, to have my breasts pressed into his chest, and a deep ache would fill my core. The place between my legs would throb, and more than once, I had to slip off to some private spot to touch myself.

I needed answers. I needed touch. And if anyone could give me both, it was Jasper.

I made my way to the secluded spot in the forest where I’d found him practicing all that time ago, wearing Seb’s wolf form. The sounds of students off having sex were louder in this form, but this time I felt no embarrassment at hearing it. I understood.

Jasper was in the clearing, wearing his dragon form. He shifted back to human when he saw me. “Azriel.”

I took my human form, too, and strode forward. My body craved his, but I held myself back. We might be deep in the forest, but it wasn’t private enough.

“I need your help,” I blurted. “I need to look through my records. I want to find out more about myself. And I need to look into the records of a certain prisoner. A human accused of killing a high fae,” I said, fighting back a wince as I said it. “Not that a human could kill a high fae.”

“Oh, it’s possible. They just need the right weapon.” Jasper ran his hand through his hair and nodded. “Come back to the Academy with me. I can teach you how to break into the records rooms. But…” he glanced away.

“But?”

He lifted one shoulder and let it drop. “I’ve already looked at your records. I don’t know what you’re looking for, but I might already have the answers.”

A charge went through me. Partly relief, partly resentment. What right did he have to dig into my past? Yet, if I could get actual answers, and not just have to continue to sit around and wait for something that might not happen… “Let’s get to the Vespa room, then.”

We walked in silence. Once we were in the passage from the forest to his room, I asked, “Are you and Seb still fighting?”

Jasper let out a huff. “Not exactly.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means we reached a truce. And an agreement.”