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“Maybe they’ll kill him like they killed that guy, Valiar,” a blond guard adds. “I hope they’ll let us throw knives at him. It looked fun.”

I bring my knees up against my chest, refusing to let my tears fall. Of course I won’t get a quick death. I don’t even know what I’m hoping for anymore: brutal torture that will eventually end up in them killing me or a new endless stream of pain and humiliation. Both possibilities make me want to throw up, but it doesn’t matter what I’d prefer anyway. I won’t have any damned choice in the matter.

“I’m sure Cirail will reward us for bringing him back, don’t worry.” Dornao grins. “Let’s take a small break before we go.”

They all sit down and take their rations out of their bags, leaving me curled on the ground. My stomach growls, my throat tight and parched with thirst.

Dornao takes a long gulp from his waterskin before waving it in front of my face. “You thirsty, bitch?”

I glare back at him, which only makes him laugh. Of course I’m thirsty. The water from the two rivers isn’t safe to drink unless boiled, and I didn’t want to risk it before I was sure Nasir wasn’t coming back for me. Worked out really fucking great.

Dornao uncaps the waterskin and tilts it over my face. I know it can’t be that easy, but I still open my mouth. Instead of letting me drink, Dornao pours the remaining water all over my face and chest. The cold bites into my skin, making me shiver.

“Alright, break’s over,” Dornao announces. “Let’s go.”

Two guards grab me by the arms, one on each side, and haul me to my feet. They drag me out of the relative safety of the cave, the wind battering my exposed skin. The water clinging to my hair, hat, and crop top feels like ice.

I look at the two rivers meeting, the blue water joining the brown one in a whirlwind of powerful currents. It keeps flowing like it always did, oblivious to my plight. It’s a force of nature, something humans have no control over and know not to mess with. An idea forms in my mind. I turn my head to bite one of the guard’s cheeks as hard as I can and kick backward into the other guard’s leg simultaneously.

They didn’t expect me to fight. The pain and surprise make them loosen their grip, just enough for me to slip away. I dart for the confluence. It’s hard to keep my balance with my arms tied behind my back. I stagger but manage to stay upright. If I can just reach the water, I’ll be free from them. I’ll drown, the freezing current washing my body away from the shore and forcing it underwater, and there’s nothing they’ll be able to do about it. They’ll come back empty-handed, having failed their mission. The thought fills me with a twisted sense of joy.

I’m only a few feet away now. I can make it. I just need to… Hands reach my shoulders, yanking me back. I topple over to the dirt ground, the back of my head hitting the terrain hard, pain exploding through my skull. Boots are kicking my stomach, my ribs, my legs, my face. I want to die. I was so close, so fucking close.

“Stop,” Dornao calls. “We’ve lost enough time like that. Just tie his legs and gag him so he can’t pull some shit like that again, and let’s go.” He kneels down next to my face, taking my chin in his hand. “I can’t wait to bring you back to the Raiders. We’re going to have so much fun together."

The guards obey Dornao, tying my legs up tightly before shoving rope into my mouth. I glare at them. There's no heat behind my gaze, though. I’m defeated. Utterly defeated. So useless I wasn’t even able to end my own life.

I don’t want to exist anymore.

They drag me behind them like I’m nothing but an object to carry. And I guess that’s what I am at the moment. I can’t move. I can’t talk. I’m just a thing. A toy, right? That’s what I’ve been reduced to.

My heart rises into my throat when I see the Ruins appear. That part of the city has been more affected by the fires than Elign, and the collapsing buildings have been repaired haphazardly with wood, metal plate, anything they could get their hands on, whereas ours were rebuilt with stone. The mere sight of it makes my stomach churn and my skin prickle.

I retreat far inside my mind. I barely notice when we reach the gates or when I’m ushered inside the main building. When Cirail appears, though, I’m jolted back into the real world. My brain has learned that dissociating around him is dangerous, and it won’t let me hide within myself in peace.

“Ah, our little runaway is back.” Cirail bends backward with a laugh, his back arched, head facing the ceiling. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him stand straight. He’s always bending this way or that like a puppet with no strings. “Good job, Dor. I knew I could count on you. You’ll get your reward soon.”

A large, wolfish smile crosses Dornao’s face. “It was a pleasure doing business with you. I’m enjoying this new alliance quite a lot.”

Cirail gestures, and two of his own men grab me, dragging me away. The toy has changed hands. I’m led to a flight of stairs and down to a place I know only too well. The cell where I was first held. The one where they tortured me.

Only this time, something is different. When they throw me inside and lock the door behind me, I’m not left alone in the dark. Someone else is with me.

Nasir, looking battered and beaten.

Nasir Ahmad

My heart breaks all over again when Reno is thrown into the cell with me. It seems to be doing that a lot these days. His body is covered in fresh bruises, and it’s all my fault. We could both be far away from here right now if only I hadn’t messed up so badly.

“Reno?” I say tentatively. “I’m so sorry. I thought no one saw me, but I was wrong. I was so wrong. This is all my fault.”

Reno doesn’t answer. He just stares at me blankly. I can’t tell whether he understands what I’m saying or not. I’m not even sure he hears me.

I want to take him in my arms and apologize some more, but I know that would only scare him, so I remain where I am. I’m not sure how much time has passed when Cirail arrives. It could have been minutes or hours. His presence seems to jolt Reno awake, and he lets out a strangled whimper before catching himself and glaring at the man instead.

“I can’t let an affront like that go unpunished, but I’m not an evil man, you know?” Cirail starts, his gleeful expression belying his words. “That’s why I’m going to give you a choice. Which one of you will serve as entertainment today? Don’t worry, I’m not planning to kill either of you just now, that would be boring. Torture is so much more fun. So, little jester, the choice is yours. Which one?”

Reno’s mouth opens and closes again. His eyes dart from me to Cirail to me again, a wild glint in them. He looks like a trapped animal.