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Mark stuck his fingers inside the strap of his watch and spun it around and around his wrist.
Neither spoke for half a minute. The squeals of a baby, the girl belonging to the lesbian couple next door, reverberated from the hallway.
Alex brushed imaginary fuzz from her dress. “At least Mark Junior won’t be making his debut nine months from now.”
Frowning, Mark continued to spin his watch.
“Our relationship has meant everything to me.”
“It means everything to me, too, Mouse. Meeting you changed my life.”
“I think Lairds did more to change your life than I ever did.”
“That’s not true.” Mark angled towards her. “I was at a low point when I met you. Six months of rejections, and not a single role, not even a radio play. Every audition came to nothing. The doubts started…was I good enough? Was I wasting my time? I was thinking about giving up.”
“I doubt that!” She huffed. “You seemed so confident.”
“Yeah, ’cause I was trying to impress you! It’s not every day I meet a cute American girl who writes plays.” His face softened with a smile. “After twenty minutes talking to you, I realized—she gets me. Unlike most people, she doesn’t think I’m stupid for hanging out in drafty theatres, getting paid next to nothing. She gets my need to disappear into a character, because she craves that escape, too. Lex, the joy you have for writing your plays—for taking that leap of faith that maybe one day they’ll be seen by an audience—that inspired me to keep trying. I felt like I had found a kindred spirit.”
“I felt that, too.”
“See?” His eyes crinkled. “Other than my mum, I’ve never had anyone in my life who believed in me as much as you—and to top it off, you laugh at my stupid jokes and love my Vespa! And your talent—Christ, Lex…your first play staged at the Royal bloody Court? I wasn’t surprised—I knew all along you could do it. You, gorgeous girl, are a force to be reckoned with.” He pointed towards the shelves. “You’ll need to shift those photos for Olivier Awards soon.”
“I love those photos.”
“I do too.” He moved closer to her. “Those memories are special because you were by my side, Lex. God, we have so many. Remember when the Doctor Who Christmas special script arrived?”
“Yeah. I cried.” Her eyes moistened, recalling the memory, wishing she could revisit that simpler, happier time. “I’m so proud of you, Mark. You deserve all the accolades, the success…” A heavy breath landed on her lap. “We almost survived it unscathed, until now…”
He clutched her hand. “We can get through this.”
“I’ve thought about nothing else, Mark…”
“Neither have I.”
“You can’t remember, but I can’t forget…”
His forehead creased briefly as her words stung.
“I love you, Mark, but once trust is broken…” She winced, her heart pounding faster…faster… “We can’t go back to the way things were.”
“I know. I know that.” He swallowed heavily, squeezing her hand. “I love you more than anything. I don’t care how long it takes or how hard it will be, I will prove you can trust me again. Just tell me what I need to do.” His eyes lit up. “Just name it.”
“I think we should break up.”
His face fell. He blinked a few times, stunned—as if the words Alex had spoken were a foreign language. “What?”
Alex pulled her hand away. “I can’t see a way through this. I’m sorry.”
“Mouse.” He leaned closer, his eyes wide and pleading. “No! We can make this work. I know it will take time to rebuild your trust—”
“There’s more to it than that.” She slanted away from him. “We’re never together…and when we are, we have zero privacy. I haven’t been happy for a while.”
“I know you haven’t been, but we can fix this—”
She shook her head. “You and I deal with things differently, you and I want different things. I would like to get engaged; you want to wait. I wanted us to have time together; you couldn’t say no to a single thing Wink suggested. I can’t do this anymore, Mark. I’m done with being patient. I’m done with always being the one forced to compromise.”
Mark clasped her knee, his thumb rubbing back and forth. “It won’t always be like this—”
