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Alex gripped the railing, her knuckles drained of colour. “What gives you the right…” She shouted at the rippling waves. “Is that it? Are we done?”

Devin nudged closer and leaned on the railing beside her, filling his lungs with cool air. “Alex, please…I know you better than anyone. I think you got on that plane to run away. To run away from the hurt I caused you. I’m just relieved to see you’re making a fresh start after all that upset. At least something good’s come out of all this.”

Her head turned slightly towards his voice, but her gaze didn’t budge from the river. The urgent lapping of the waves against a marooned barge fell into sync with her breathing.

“In college, it was clear to everyone that you had what it takes. I’ve since realized, I don’t. You know Dad’s always been on me to join his law firm. Well, after this gap year, I’m heading to law school. I need a fresh start, too.”

Alex looked at him with narrowed eyes. “But you love acting?”

Devin winked. “Not to worry, babe. I’ll save my theatrics for the courtroom.”

A glimpse of the old Devin, bringing levity to a difficult situation. Alex cracked a half smile and then chastised herself for doing so. What’s that saying? There’s a fine line between love and hate…

“But you’re not me. You’re talented. I think coming here on your own is inspiring. I always knew you had it in you. Always. I know it might not mean much coming from me, but I hope you keep following your dream. Don’t listen to your mom or anyone else who says you can’t make it. You can. And you will.”

A few cold drops fell from the evening sky, dotting the pavement.

Alex couldn’t breathe. The pedestrians, the boats on the Thames, the buses whizzing by—it all faded away into the darkness, leaving only Devin’s words suspended in her mind. She glanced up at his shirt; the first three buttons undone, revealing his slightly tanned neck and a fine sweep of chest hair. How often had she laid her head there? Safe, fulfilled—loved? Same old Devin…

He smiled warmly. That smile. Alex’s heart skipped a beat. She trembled, but it wasn’t because of the November rain.

“I guess I’ve said what I came to say. And I know you won’t believe me, but I couldn’t replace you, or forget you. Take care of yourself, Lexy.”

Devin tossed his backpack over his shoulder and ambled down the bridge towards the steps to the South Bank.

Twenty-Six

Alex paused for a moment, unsure whether to chase after Devin or leave him be. A swarm of exuberant kilt-wearing schoolgirls unleashed from the National overwhelmed the sidewalk, so she could no longer spot him bobbing along the bridge.

She ducked her head into her coat’s collar, trying to hide from the light drizzle, and jostled her way through the squealing herd. Her quivering legs made the trip down the cement stairs jerky and clumsy, like she was a newborn foal using its muscles for the first time. No sign of Devin in any direction. Alex wiped her nose with the back of her hand and hurried into the National’s lobby.

“Finally.” Freddie caught up to Alex in front of the bookshop. “I was going to send out a search party. How’d it go? You okay? You’re shaking.”

“I’m fine. Just cold and wet.” Her flighty hands combed through her damp hair as her watery eyes stared past Freddie. “I need a drink.”

“No worries. Mark’s busy with his boss…Lucy’s on her way from the office.”

Alex’s fingers grabbed at the waistline of her coat, desperate to pull it tighter.

Freddie’s green eyes blinked rapidly. “Sure you’re fine? You seem wobbly…want a brandy?”

“No. Jack and Coke.”

Freddie pulled her under his arm, and they swerved as one through the growing pre-theatre crowd. “Sure thing, Little Miss Bossy. So…what did the frat boy have to say for himself?”

Alex sank down on a plastic white chair a few steps from the bar. “He’s not a frat boy.”

“Okay. Let me rephrase that…what did your shitty ex have to say for himself?”

“…He apologized.”

Freddie sat down opposite her. “He must’ve said more than ‘I’m sorry.’ You were gone nearly thirty minutes.”

Mark rushed over with a hesitant grin. “Sorry. I couldn’t get away…You okay, Lex? You look worlds away. Who was that guy?”

“I’m fine.”

“She’s not.”