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“No memories.”
His eyes stayed locked on my face. “No memories.”
I looked down at our joined hands. He still hadn’t let go. “And me?” I asked him.
Darius was quiet for a long time. Then he said, “You’re everything.”
I glanced up. He seemed horrified by his own confession. “That sounded suspiciously romantic,” I whispered.
“Shut up.” His fingers tightened around mine. Barely. “Alvin.”
“Hm?”
“I don’t know what I am.”
The teasing disappeared from me. Completely. He looked miserable. Lost, instead of angry or disgusted.
“You don’t have to know tonight,” I said. His brows furrowed. “But you can’t continue to use me while you figure it out either.” I took another deep breath. “And you can’t continue to shove me away every time you feel something.”
“Okay, Alvy.”
I nudged his knee with mine. “You can stop looking at me like I kicked your puppy now.”
“You burned yourself.”
“And you kissed Cindy.”
His glare narrowed. “Those are not equivalent.”
“No, but I’m still mad about it.”
“You can be mad.”
“Oh, good. I was waiting for your permission.”
Darius rolled his eyes. Then his gaze dropped to our hands. “You can’t do that again.” He noticed my smile disappear and said, “I’m not telling you, Alvin. I’m asking. Please don’t hurt yourself because of me.”
“It wasn’t just you…” I admitted.
“I know.” His thumb brushed gently over the edge of the bandage. “But especially not because of me.”
I didn’t promise. He didn’t demand that I did. Instead, Darius stood, and I watched him move towards his bunk.
“Dee?” I called out to him. He looked back and I hesitated. “Did you really mean it?” I hated how small my voice sounded. “That I’m everything.”
Darius held my gaze. “Yes.”
My heart cracked clean down the middle. Because apparently that stupid fucking thing hadn’t learned its lesson yet. I knew tomorrow he would go back to acting like I was nothing. And I had to accept that maybe this was all we could ever be.
CHAPTER 18
The nature walk was Alvin’s suggestion. That should have been enough warning that this was going to be a terrible idea. Alvin’s version of nature was a couple of fake plants he’d bedazzled in the craft room and a dead spider you didn’t have to worry about feeding anymore.
“Look,” he said, stopping beside a shrub. “This is poison ivy.”
One of the kids leaned closer.
“Don’t touch it,” I grunted and pulled the kid back by the collar of his shirt.