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“My father burned me for it, Darius,” I said, curling my fingers closed. Dee’s eyes followed the movement. “And I still walked outside the next day and acted like I didn’t give a damn.”

“I know.”

“No.” My throat tightened. “You didn’t know anything. You just thought you did.”

He didn’t argue. Because he couldn’t.

I looked away. “My whole fucking life, Dee, I’ve had people telling me there’s something wrong with me.”

“There isn’t.”

I laughed. “Easy for you to say now.”

“I mean it.”

“Then why did I spend years feeling like your dirty little secret?” I asked. When he couldn’t come up with an answer, I nodded. “Right.”

Darius dragged a hand over his face. “I was a coward.”

I froze. He said it so quietly I almost missed it.

“What was that?”

“I said I was a coward, Alvin.”

For once, there wasn’t a joke in me. No clever retort. Nothing.

“I knew what I felt,” Dee continued. “I just didn’t know what to do with it.”

“So you kissed women.”

“Yes.”

“Wow. Well, that’s a shitty coping mechanism.”

“I’m aware.”

“And what about Cindy?” I hated myself for asking. Hated it more that I needed to know.

“What about her?” he asked.

“Do you like her?”

He hesitated, and that tiny pause nearly killed me. “She’s nice.”

“Oh, fuck you.” I grabbed my shirt and yanked it over my head. “Go be with someone nice, then, Dee.”

“I don’t want Cindy, Alvin.”

“Could’ve fooled me.”

“She invited me in. She expected me to kiss her…”

“And what? You heroically fought her off with your tongue?”

His eyes narrowed. And despite everything, I almost smiled. “So I kissed her,” he insisted. He noticed me moving towards the door and quickly added, “For a second.”

“That definitely makes it better.”