Page 29

“Such strong emotions! I’m honored, my little dingleberry.”

He walked away and I watched him go. But, for some reason, the joke didn’t feel quite as funny. Darius hadn’t slept inside last night again. I’d noticed that the bottom bunk was empty when I’d gotten up to piss sometime around midnight.

I’d checked outside, worried, but sure enough there he’d been. Stretched across that miserable wooden slab, with one arm behind his head, swatting away mosquitos even in his sleep. Anything to avoid sharing four walls with me.

I was furious. I’d told myself that was why my chest hurt. Anger. It was nothing else. Definitely not that old familiar ache hidden underneath the boiling fury.

I picked at my eggs and then looked through the mess hall windows. The lake shimmered between the trees. Somewhere, out there, was a pair of underwear I could wedgie him with later.

I sighed. Fuck. Me. Apparently I’d developed a conscience overnight.

When shit-stick fell asleep on the damn porch for a third time, I resisted the urge to kick his arrogant head as I stepped over him and made a beeline for the lake.

His jeans were surprisingly hard to find in the dark. I relied too heavily on the flickering camp light that was worse than the crap on roads. I spotted one leg tangled around a branch near the dock and waded farther into the deep end.

“Come here, you denim bastard.”

The water was already above my knees, and the cold mud squished between my toes. I’d recovered three dozen shirts, twenty-something pairs of underwear, a couple dozen socks, and even a few questionable items I sincerely hoped belonged to Darius because otherwise I’d just spent ten minutes collecting a stranger’s laundry.

I pulled the jeans loose and watched the water pour from them. “Ha!”

Victory. It was small and admittedly pathetic. But it was mine.

I threw the pants towards the dock. SQUELCH! The noises these damn things made when they landed on the wood made me queasier each time. It also made me question why the fuck I was doing this.

For a second, I just stood there. Water around my thighs. Trees rustling behind me. But then… Camp Dix shifted. The years peeled backwards. It was still the same lake. Different summer. Darius had been standing at the end of the dock. His skinny legs with the too-big swim trunks hanging off his defined hips. He’d been staring at me like I was insane.

“You’re not jumping.”

“Watch me.”

“Alvy.”

“Yes, DeeDee?”

“It’s too shallow!”

“You’re too shallow.”

He’d laughed. I remembered that more clearly than anything. Darius laughing. It was so beautiful and free.

Well… before his laugh got guarded, and he started looking around afterwards to see who’d noticed him enjoying himself with me.

I’d run that night and jumped in the lake we were all warned to leave alone. The minute I hit the water, I’d come up screaming like a little bitch because it was fucking freezing.

Darius had doubled over laughing his ass off, while I’d climbed back onto the dock and walked straight towards him.

He’d realized far too late what I was doing. “Don’t you fucking dare.”

I’d rushed him and squeezed him into the biggest bear hug known to man, taking us both down into the dark waters. He’d screamed and I remembered coming up beside him. His hair had been plastered over his forehead and his hands had been gripping my shoulders like he was afraid I’d let go.

Both of us cackled, until suddenly we’d stopped. Just for a second. His face had been inches from mine, and I’d felt his fingers tighten around my hand.

He’d leaned in. Then I’d leaned in, and my lips were pressing against the most-beautiful boy in the world. Something had changed between us. Long before the kiss. Long before he’d broken my fucking heart.

“Alvin.”

I blinked and the real lake returned. Darius was standing on the dock, looking down at the piece of clothing in my grip.