Page 55 of Wedge

Stephen tilts his head, studying the character model. “He’s hot.”

“He is hot.”

“Wait. Can I romance him?”

“Nope. Kaidan’s female Shepard only in this one.”

He actually sets the controller down, offended on some fundamental level. “That’s insane. Look at him. Square jaw. Regulation haircut. Why would they lock that down?”

“I don’t make the rules. I just live with the disappointment.”

“That’s discrimination. A man just wants to do a hot space cadet.” He picks the controller back up, still muttering, and backs Shepard out of the conversation like he’s personally offended on all men’s behalf. “Okay. Who else on this boat can I romance?”

“There’s Ashley.”

“Ashley?”

“Human, marine, kind of intense, has some baggage.”

“What kind of baggage?”

“She gets weird about aliens sometimes.”

Stephen makes a face, walks Shepard right past Ashley’s post without stopping. “Hard pass. Already met her cousin in Aurora. What about the pilot? He’s kinda cute.”

“Joker. You’d break him, has a bone condition, can barely walk, let alone fuck. And he’s straight.”

“Too many straight guys on this ship. What about the reptile guy?”

I gasp indignantly. “Reptile guy? Garrus?”

“Yeah, him. Kinda weird, but I’m down if he is. I’m open to aliens.”

“Killing me, but no.” I laugh against his shoulder. “There’s also Liara.” I know where this is going to end up.

“Who’s Liara?”

“Asari. Scientist, kind of shy. Blue. We haven’t met her yet. She’s an option for either Shepard.”

“So the aliens are more open-minded than the humans. Interesting.”

“Extremely progressive species, the Asari.”

He grins, already halfway sold. “Tell me more about Liara.”

“She’s sweet. Sexy. Awkward, brilliant, been alone in ruins doing research for like fifty years, so she’s a little starved for actual conversation. And touch. Very earnest. Technically, her species is mono-gendered, so the whole ’romance either Shepard’ thing isn’t even really a blip for them. Pansexual. They’ll do anyone.”

“I like her already, and I haven’t met her.”

“We have to rescue her first. And everyone likes Liara.”

“So we’re rescuing Liara.”

“We’re rescuing Liara.”

He sets the controller down for a moment just to look at me, delighted in that specific way he gets when we agree on something small and stupid. “Didn’t know this could be fun.” He presses a kiss to my mouth, lingering for a moment. “Kaidan’s still hot, though. I want that on record. I feel robbed.”

“Duly noted. File a complaint with BioWare. We could play a Fem-Shep to get him, though.”