Page 50 of Date With Skates

“Why not? It’s okay if you like him more than just a fling.”

Of course it’s okay for him to like Roman more… or maybe I’m just trying to convince myself of the same thing. That it’s okay to have feelings, even though they hurt.

“It’s not,” he says, almost bitterly. And it makes me feel a little sick. “Because this is ending.”

I sigh, unable to hold it in, my gaze going right to Connor, who is smiling that bright, handsome smile at one of his teammates.

“Yeah, tell me about it…” I mutter.

Nico narrows his eyes at me.

He and Roman have been a little obvious about spending time together, and a little more flirty in public. As if they no longer care about anyone finding out about them. And maybe they don’t. That’s totally fine—for them.

But we haven’t spoken about me and Connor.

Nico and I are very much alike, but if there were a scale of stubbornness, especially when it comes to emotions, I’d hold that gold medal.

Nico wouldn’t be too far away, but it seems something about Roman has softened him a bit. I’m not really sure why, since we both know we’re going home without them. But Nico isn’t stupid, and he knows I’ve been busy with someone. He just doesn’t know who… though, I wouldn’t put it past him to guess correctly because I was hanging around Connor so often.

“In the same boat?” Nico asks.

I should give him the truth. It would probably make him feel better.

I don’t though. I just wave him off and say, “Meh.”

We make our way over to the team, and it’s Connor who spots us first. His eyes go to me but then flick right to Nico.

“Hey! It’s gold medalist Nico Laurent!”

Connor’s voice sends a shiver up my spine. My brain chooses this exact time to recall too many dirty things he’s said to me over the last couple of weeks.

Brains are dumb.

“How does it feel?” Connor asks.

I’m a little jealous that he’s talking to Nico at all, when he hasn’t even acknowledged me. Of course we aren’t doing that, so I don’t even know why I’m mad about it. I’m just being childish. Just being my normal attention-seeking self. It’s not the first time I’ve been jealous of someone talking to Nico, and not me. It’s just who I am. I crave attention, and I really want Connor’s attention on me at all times.

But this feels a little different. I’m feeling more murderous over this situation than I have in the past.

“Indescribable,” Nico says.

“Yeah, maybe we’ll know the feeling one day,” Connor says, hanging his head.

“You guys played a great game,” I say brightly. “Silver is nothing to sneeze at.”

“But it’s no gold,” Richtor says with a frown.

“You made it here. That’s something,” Nico adds.

“That’s what I’ve been telling them,” Roman says, giving Nico a soft smile.

We mingle with them as we get through speeches and ending performances. I try to pay attention to what’s going on, but all I can do is focus on Connor and how far away he is, even though he’s only a few feet away. How I want to reach out and take his hand. How I miss his lips. How I swear I can smell him from here…

The energy is buzzing all around us, but I feel like I don’t belong. Everyone is excited. They’re celebrating. And I’m just… pretending.

When the flame is extinguished, something in me extinguishes too.

The Olympics are over.