Page 60 of On Brutal Thrones

Despite myself, a weak laugh escapes me.

Thorian rises from the stump. “The gods knew exactly what they were doing. They put a vampire in a field of blood and waited.”

My jaw tightens. “I still should have controlled myself.”

“Perhaps,” Thorian says. “But next time, you’ll tell us sooner. If there is a next time.” He pauses, his expression hardening. “And we should have seen it sooner. We knew you were struggling, and we let you carry it alone. That was our failure, not yours.”

I meet his gaze. There’s no judgment there. Just the same infuriating practicality he brings to everything.

“I’m sorry,” he says, the words blunt but unmistakably sincere. “We should have done better by you.” He holds my gaze. “Next time, we deal with it before it gets that far. All of us.”

We.

The word settles more deeply than it should.

I look at Fenric, still battered and eating like a starving animal. At Thorian, covered in wounds that are slowly disappearing. Then at Nyx, sitting in my lap when I’d been certain she would never willingly come this close to me again.

My future family. Somehow, they’re all still here.

I tighten my arms around Nyx. “I really am sorry.”

She presses a kiss to my temple. “I know.”

I let myself hold her for another few seconds before looking past her toward the enormous green field.

“All right,” I say, my voice still rough. “Someone want to explain why the grass is taller than Thorian?”

“Because it isn’t just grass,” Nyx says.

As if summoned by her words, one of the enormous stalks bends.

I watch it lower toward the ground, revealing the massive flower at its end. Thick petals peel back around a fleshy center before the entire thing snaps down with enough force to shake the earth beneath us.

I stare at it.

“Of course it isn’t.”

We’re in no condition to attempt another challenge yet, so we decide to rest while we figure out what we’re dealing with. Rest and eat and drink. If we can. So, we start searching for what we need to survive. There’s a stream near us in the forest, narrow enough to step across, but the water is clear and cold. Thorian checks it first, then we drink until we’ve emptied what’s left in our canteens and fill them again.

The cold water feels ridiculously good going down. I hadn’t realized how thirsty I was until the first swallow, and then I can’t seem to get enough. I splash some over my face and scrub at the dried blood around my mouth, but the smell of the blood field still clings to me. It’s in my clothes and my hair, a faint metallic sweetness that makes my stomach tighten every time I catch it.

Thankfully, it no longer controls me.

The hunger is there, but distant and manageable. More importantly, Nyx is standing close enough that we can almost touch, and I can smell the faint trace of blood beneath the bandage on her arm without wanting to tear it away.

I’ve never been so grateful for ordinary hunger in my life.

Everyone cleans themselves the best they can in the tiny river. Red pours off of us into the streams. Nyx washes her hair, then puts it in a braid once more. We scrub the blood out of everywhere we can before finally feeling more like ourselves again.

We settle beneath the trees near the stream, where we have a clear view of the field without getting close enough for any of the plants to reach us. The enormous stalks sway gently in the breeze, creating the illusion of an ordinary meadow if I ignore the fact that the grass towers over our heads.

It might even be beautiful if I hadn’t already seen what lives among it.

For a while, none of us does much besides rest and watch. Fenric portions out the berries he collected, and we all eat. Nyx drinks more water and leans back against a tree. Thorian sits nearby, his attention moving between the field and the forest behind us. I should probably be watching for danger too, but I keep finding myself looking at the three of them instead.

Alive. They’re all alive and okay. That fact still hasn’t completely settled inside me.

I attacked Fenric. I fought Thorian. I chased Nyx through the forest with her blood filling my senses and almost no part of myself left in control. Yet somehow, I woke to all three of them alive. Better yet, Nyx wrapped her arms around me instead of backing away.