Page 113 of More Than Just Friends

Now so many things made sense.

I’d noticed the shift and the fact that he was being distant, but never in a million years did I think that his love for me was the reason.

‘I had no idea you felt that way,’ I said. ‘I wish you’d said something.’

‘I thought about it. So many times. But you’d never shown any interest in me romantically and all the evidence suggested you’d reject me, so I thought moving away was the best way to preserve our friendship.’

That also made sense.

I thought back to those times that I’d had a crush on Noah and how impossible it’d felt back then to even consider expressing my feelings.

The stakes seemed too high. Just like they had when I realised on the boat that I was still attracted to him.

Just like they did now, even though we both knew how we felt.

‘Don’t you see,’ I said. ‘That’s exactly what I’m trying to do now. That’s why we should stop. So that we don’t ruin everything. Maybe one day, things will be different, but⁠—’

‘No, Ali!’ Noah’s nostrils flared. ‘I’m done waiting. I’ve spent my whole life being patient and hoping that one day you’d want me the way that I wanted you. I already know what I want. I’ve always known. And that’s you. It’s an easy decision for me. A no-brainer. Clearly you don’t feel the same, otherwise it’d be a no-brainer for you too.’

‘But I do! I really do care for you, Noah.’

‘But you don’t love me!’ he retorted.

‘I do love you!’

‘As a friend.’

‘I…’ I paused. ‘I haven’t put a label on my feelings yet, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want to be with you. There’s no one else I’d want to be with, but⁠—’

‘But you don’t want to ruin the friendship. I heard you the first and the hundredth time. Look, we’re going around in circles.’ He blew out a frustrated breath. ‘You need to work out what you want. Once and for all. Either you want to be with me or you don’t. When you get off the fence and make a decision, call me. But you’ll need to do it soon, because I can’t keep waiting around forever, hoping that you’ll change your mind. It’s not healthy for me. Night.’

Noah stormed off leaving me standing there, my mind racing at a million miles an hour.

He’d made his position very clear.

Either we make a go of things or we break contact forever.

Right now, it felt like an impossible decision.

Both options carried risks and serious consequences.

And I had no idea what to do.

37

NOAH

So it wasn’t a dream.

As I opened my eyes and the memories of my argument with Ali last night came flooding back, I realised that it really did happen.

We were over.

Before we’d really had a proper chance to begin.

All because she was afraid.

Because she didn’t think we were worth the risk.