Page 107 of Sand in My Boots

Tears I didn’t realize had pooled trickle down my cheeks as he disappears through the open doors.

The last time we did this, I didn’t know when I’d see him again. The same rings true now. I thought it would be different this time. Even if there wasn’t a plan in place for when we’d see each other, there would at least be texts, phone calls, sexting. Now, who the hell knows? With all the things said today, so many things were left unsaid.

I stand on the sidewalk, not caring if anyone beeps or tries to tell me to move. For five minutes, I wonder about what comes next for us.

I said I’d wait for him, and I will. But what does “waiting” entail? How long will it be before there’s some kind of resolution to this?

What happens if this is the end of us?

Tears fall harder with the thought of not having him in my life. It’s different from when we were teens. He wasn’t so deeply ingrained. I never imagined we could be more than one night. However, having him for this past month, being “his,” it changed everything. It’s way too soon to know how long this could have lasted, but now there’s a real possibility of being over.

Scurrying to the driver’s side, I climb in and adjust the seat so my feet reach the pedals. The tears won’t stop, but they aren’t the blurring kind, but a steady stream seeping out of my eyes.

I call the only person who can help me deal with this.

Elisa picks up on the second ring. “Hey! About time you called me, bitch.”

Luckily, I haven’t yet moved the car as tears turn into sobs.

“Juli! What’s wrong?”

I allow myself one minute. One minute to cry it out. When the minute’s up, Elisa is still thankfully on the line. “I may have lost him.”

“What? Why?”

“Where are you?”

“Mom and Dad’s. Just getting ready to grab lunch. Want me to get us sushi? I’ll come to you.”

The burrito is suddenly less appealing. Yes.”

At her younger age, the girl has so much more life experience than me and will help make things better.

Though I’m not sure her flying me to Magnolia Cay is the solution. Not when the only person I want to see there isn’t ready for me to be there.

“K. Be there soon.”

Hanging up the phone, I check my face in the rearview. Red and blotchy eyes stare back at me. It’s only temporary, but I’m coming to learn too many things in life are.

Chapter 27

Cameron

Asolemnness accompanies me to my car, and when I open the door, a whiff of Juli waylays me. I wasn’t expecting it to be so strong, but like with my heart, her imprint is deeper than I care to admit.

I spent the plane ride contemplating life and the choices I’ve made to get to this spot. Roles I’ve played. Opportunities I was given. One major one in particular.

She made it clear she doesn’t want the money back, but does that mean I don’t owe it to her anyway? Do I not at least attempt to pay her back, even if it takes years, or god forbid, I lose her? Am I willing to lose her?

No.

The answer comes so easily. I don’t want to lose her. Not even a little. But I also don’t want to make a hasty decision—tell her I’m okay with it—when I’m not. I certainly don’t want to face the fact that I’ll never be okay with it. Even if that might be true. It’s a lot to take in, not helped by our being in a relationship.

My mind whirling with too many emotions, the drive to Whispering Tide seems short. I park the car in the employee lot, leaving my bag for the time being. Stomping inside, I forget the part I’m supposed to play as owner and head for Preston’s office. His eyes are glued to his computer, a usual look for him. When he realizes I’m there, he looks up. “You’re back.”

Not knowing exactly how this will play out, I start right in. I stand in front of his desk, annoyance fueling me on. “How could you let her put up that kind of money? She could have been out millions of dollars had we failed. Millions, Preston!”

He looks up at me, bewilderment replacing his studious expression. “What are you carrying on about?”