Page 56 of Love in the Time of Wildfires

Great.

She’d probably find his one-word answer insufficient for all that. But, with his current mood, keeping things to a minimum was probably best. If he was smart, he would have waited until he could reply with an exclamation mark and a damn smiley emoji. Unfortunately, Logan wasn’t feeling smart tonight.

Also, this was the first time he was hearing about Kyle from PR, and it felt like one time too many. The guy was already on Logan’s last nerve, even though he was likely nice and had a regular paycheck with good benefits, didn’t smell like smoke, and was around to impress River with his trivia brain. He was probably perfect for her.

River

How was your day? Did you rescue any baby deer like the hero you are?

No.

River

Oh! I don’t remember if I mentioned it or not, but I volunteered myself to do a special wildlife presentation during the big fundraising gala happening this year. My bosses said yes!!!! Feel a little intimidated, but a few friends at work were nice enough to say that they’d help me. I’m really excited!

Logan didn’t respond. He should have been happy for her, supported her, treated it like the big deal it was for her career. Currently, his brain was relegated to some dark abyss in his head, and it enjoyed pointing to all the things he was missing. It also wanted to know if Kyle was one of the friends offering to help. But Logan at least had enough wherewithal to know going down that road would not end well for him.

River

I could use a big, good-looking firefighter to come as my date. I even promise to wear something extra nice for you.

Any other day, Logan would have been thrilled to jump on this. He was a chump for not jumping on it now.

I’ll probably be gone.

I’m usually not around for most things.

Even while sending this, he kicked himself. What the hell was wrong with him? What he said was true, but it sounded as if he was never around. But if he couldn’t be around for all the times Amelia needed him, what made him think he’d do any better with River?

He’d been at this game long enough to recognize setting a self-sabotaging detonation, and yet he couldn’t help it. Because, in his mind, it was better for her to get the full picture of how horrible everything was than to realize it much later, after he was sucked in and invested, similar to Jake. Also, he could die tomorrow. She didn’t know. It’d be better if she saved herself from all of it.

River

Oh yeah? You guys fight a lot of fires mid-November?

Shit. Okay, well, she had him there. He should have stopped and backtracked to change this all around, but he didn’t.

I don’t know. My life is unpredictable. You should know this.

It wasn’t just his squad that were clowns. Apparently, he was the head clown of the group.

River

Okaaaaay.

Is everything all right? Did something happen at work?

No. Just been a long day.

River

Do you want me to leave you alone?

There wasn’t a safe answer to this question. If he said yes, which would be for her benefit as well as his, she’d no doubt take it the wrong way like his mother—and then he’d really be in trouble. Logan went with the safest answer.

I’m fine.

He should play nicer or she’d probably drop him altogether, not even wanting him as a friend, leaving his phone empty of text messages again. As much as he was pushing this situation toward that, Logan didn’t want it.