Page 48 of Love in the Time of Wildfires

Anthony didn’t say anything at first as his brow knitted and then his eyes darted around the room as if to check if people could hear their conversation. Now he was worried? It almost made River want to laugh, but she was glad he was starting to feel self-conscious about it. “Logan would never do that,” his father finally replied in a low tone.

River awarded him with a hopeful expression, touching her chest with both hands as though thankful for him coming to the right conclusion. “Right? Because he’s your son and you raised him with your values. We know we can trust Logan and his crew to take care of the community and do what’s right. I don’t know about you, but that makes me feel . . .” She paused as if giving her words careful consideration, “immensely grateful. I’m grateful to him and his crew, and I’m grateful to both of you.” River dipped a hand toward Carmela and Anthony. “You guys have raised a good one, and I know you must be feeling so proud. Especially since Logan clearly admires his father by following in his footsteps.”

River may be laying it on a bit thick. Surely Logan was about to stop her any minute and be annoyed. But River was in it now, and she wasn’t about to stop. “It’s hard not to feel proud, right?”

Anthony blinked. “Yeah, of course.”

“We’re so proud of Logan,” Carmela added, her eyes getting shiny with tears.

“I love that. And who can blame you? Logan has clearly got his work ethic and good sense from you two.” She turned her attention back to Anthony. “And he’s really lucky to have a father who understands how tough this occupation is.”

River lifted a finger as though hit with a sudden idea. “You know, you’d probably be a valuable voice in advocacy. Is there a local organization or board for wildland firefighting support? Because they could definitely use your amazing insight into making things better. It’ll be like you and Logan working together to improve things from different sides, because you’re absolutely right that your experiences and injuries should be heard and can help toward improving things. Wow. What a powerhouse you two would make.”

Anthony briefly glanced in Logan’s direction before his eyes dropped to the ground and his color pinkened. “Logan is a good firefighter.” This must have been more than Logan had received in a while because he stood there in apparent shock, his mouth dropping open.

River did her best to hide her true feelings, because clearly she was praising him for things that weren’t true. It made her feel a bit dirty, but if it got Anthony to see a sliver of truth again instead of cynicism and darkness, she’d take the win.

Either way, she wanted to escape while they were on a high note. “Yeah, and the best part is that everyone else sees it too. It’s truly astounding the work that you both have done. Well, I have to run to the restroom, but I’m so happy I was able to meet Logan’s parents, and they turned out to be as supportive and wonderful as I’d hoped. No wonder he’s such a great guy. Excuse me.” She attempted to gracefully walk away while feeling unsteady—and this time it wasn’t the stilettos’ fault.

River didn’t even know if she was headed in the right direction but, luckily, found the restroom in a small hallway. After pushing inside, she leaned her arms against one of the sinks, closing her eyes and taking deep breaths. No matter how confident she chose to portray herself, it fell away as soon as she was alone. But she always had trouble staying quiet when a situation aggravated her. Michael hated when she jumped into conversations like that. Had she embarrassed Logan? Now that it was over, River felt like throwing up. She should have minded her own business.

She took another deep breath to calm herself, turning on the cool water and letting it run over a paper towel to press to her cheeks. Hopefully, she hadn’t ruined things when it had been difficult to get this far with Logan. She didn’t want to throw it all away because his dad was a huge jerk. She begged the universe to please let her get away with it one more time.

“Please don’t be mad at me,” she said to her reflection, taking a final breath and almost jumping when the bathroom door opened. She had a brief moment of fear that it might be his mother, but it was some other woman.

River couldn’t put it off forever. Smoothing her dress, fluffing her hair, and fixing her lip gloss, she squared her shoulders and pushed through the restroom door.

Outside in the hallway, Logan leaned against the wall with his hands shoved in his pockets. His gaze moved from the floor to her eyes. She didn’t see any anger from him, but there was something else, some kind of raw vulnerability, like he was searching her for something.

She didn’t have to ask this time about a hug, because she already knew the answer.

River stepped to him, and Logan pulled her into his arms as she wrapped her own around his neck. This was more than bodies and arms making contact—it was like their souls were reaching out. A hug had never been so deep, so encompassing, so tender. It was as though through this she could feel every heartache of his and how much he needed this.

She wanted to give everything to him.

Chapter Fifteen

Logan sank his face into the crook of her neck, deeply inhaling the sweet scent he found on her skin. One of her hands pressed along the back of his head as though she wanted to keep them there. He needed this. He needed her. And, yeah, they were outside the bathroom in an old Elk’s Lodge, but their private bubble could exist here. They hadn’t even needed words—they were on the same page. He could feel it, which was weird, as he was pretty sure he’d never felt anything like this before.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered.

He didn’t know what she was apologizing for. If it was because he had a family who would rather turn a blind eye to his situation, making up their own version of reality. Even though this was nothing new, it still gave him pain.

Or if she was apologizing for giving his father her own special brand of justice by showing Anthony exactly who he had become over the years. He’d never seen his father speechless before, and Logan wasn’t going to say anything because he was having a hard time not laughing over his dad’s bewildered expression. This discussion wasn’t anything new to his father, but River had a way of talking that actually got him to shut up and listen.

Or maybe it was because it had been a long time since someone had been this much in his corner and supported him vehemently. She fought for him without even fighting, and it was amazing. She was something else. And he loved River for it—

He pulled back to look at her. Those deep brown eyes of hers that saw so much—everything but that silly fox.

Love.

He didn’t know if the feeling was real or not, but he couldn’t get the word to vacate his head. The more he saw, the brighter it burned and, for the first time, he didn’t want to extinguish it. As much as he tried to shovel a trench, dig his own burn line so thoughts of her wouldn’t cross it, they had made the jump anyway with nothing more than a few flakes of glowing ash. She probably hadn’t realized that each text message she sent him was the fuel that made everything grow brighter. Like the messed-up firefighter he was, Logan took some kind of glee watching it catch fire inside his heart.

“Logan,” she said, her fingers delicately scraping through his hair.

He couldn’t help it. Logan pressed his lips to hers, and she offered him a soft, welcoming landing spot as she kissed him in return. Everything else faded into meaningless noise in the background as he deepened the kiss, sliding his tongue alongside hers, his eyes closed so he could fully immerse himself. And maybe it was the alcohol in his system, although he’d only had one and a half bottles of the stuff, but it had never been so easy to let go, to let himself live in this, to entertain thoughts of asking for more. He would have kept kissing her in this dingy hallway if it wasn’t for the bathroom door creaking open, reminding him this wasn’t befitting behavior from someone who’d just been honored with a plaque from the mayor.

But even when he wasn’t kissing her anymore, he liked how pink her skin blushed, and how she smiled while biting a small corner of her bottom lip.