Page 161 of The Sixth Fraction

Tris

Tobias’s eyes are so dark. Like the night sky after sunset, when it’s still a deep blue. Like how I imagine the deeper parts of the ocean look, so far from the sun that its light only just penetrates.

I hear the click as Caleb puts a bullet in the chamber.

Tobias’s eyes are so dark.

“It’s okay,” he tells me, and I know what he means. It’s okay to refuse to make this choice. It’s okay to let my brother do what he thinks he has to. It’s okay to give in, the way I just did in the fear simulation. There’s nothing you can do. Sometimes it’s all right to give up control.

Only there is something I can do here. Even though my heart is racing, even though I can barely breathe, my hands are steady on the gun. I remember its weight and I know how to brace myself against the kickback once it fires. I breathe in through my nose and my focus narrows to the sight at the front of the barrel.

I focus, then, on the sliver of Caleb that I can see. His hair slicked back, his blue shirt. My brother, who always thought of everyone else before himself. My brother, the model Abnegation boy.

That version of him never existed. Instead there’s only this: the brother who’s forcing me to make an impossible choice.

“Fear simulations make people ready to act,” I say to Tobias. “Isn’t that what you said?”

Tobias closes his eyes and his head drops, and in the space he creates, I see my brother’s face, and I discover the choice is not impossible.

I fire.

I close my eyes, but I still hear it. The sound of a body falling heavy to the floor. The clatter of a dropped weapon on the stone.

And then all I hear is ringing.

There are hands on my arms. Gripping me. Gentle. I open my eyes to see Tobias standing in front of me. He’s all I can see. Dark eyes focused on mine. Aquiline nose. Furrowed brow.

“Let me take this,” he says, his voice low enough to be audible under the ringing. He takes the gun from my hands. I release it easily. I never wanted to hold it to begin with.

He switches the safety on and reaches behind him to tuck it under the waistband of his jeans. He puts his hands on my shoulders again and ducks down to look me right in the eye.

“I’m going to walk you out of here,” he says. “But I’m going to cover your eyes, okay?”

I nod. He puts his hand on the back of my head, and tugs me forward so my forehead is pressed to his jacket. I breathe in the smell of him. Mint, from the soap he uses, maybe. Sweat. Wind. He keeps his hand on the back of my head and walks me backward. I hear a door open, and then I smell the mildew of the tunnel we took to get here.

Me, Tobias, and Caleb.

Caleb. I see the sliver of his face. Wide eyes. Slicked-back hair.

I hear him crumple to the ground.

A sob breaks in my throat. Halfway through, it turns into a scream. Tobias’s hand is gentle on the back of my head. He stops walking and lets me scream. Lets me grab fistfuls of his jacket, so tight it hurts my knuckles, and scream again.

My throat is raw when I’m finished. My hands relax. His hand skims my hair, careful.

“Ready?” he says.

I nod.

He takes my hand, and leads me up the stairs. Leads me out.

Chapter 61

Four

It’s after sunrise, but the sky is still dark. The haze of white clouds that I saw on the way to Dauntless headquarters has turned deep gray and bulges with rain. A rumble, like the hum of an oncoming train, sounds as we walk into the glass lobby.

And into chaos, naturally.