Page 114 of Revenant

Come on, Alicent. Willpower.

But fuck me sideways if I don’t contemplate it for a heartbeat. Maybe two.

He crawls up the bed toward me, and I’m afraid the sight alone would make a nun whimper. Our noses nearly touch when he comes to a halt, both of his hands placed on either side of me, caging me in.

Nowhere to go. Nowhere to run. The only way out is through, and there’s no way I can even make him wobble with how weak I feel right now.

I’m so totally screwed.

His hand moves at lightning speed, cupping the side of my neck, while his thumb rubs the length of my jaw. He pulls me in, our lips colliding, and electricity floods my system instantly. I grab his face with my hands, pulling him closer and deepening the kiss when his tongue dances with mine.

The textbook that was lying on my lap is long forgotten, closing and falling to the wayside the moment our lips touched.

He pulls back just a hair, whispering to me as though we’re meant to have secrets. “I’m going to the gym. Get your stuff so you can finish…whatever it is you were doing.” He places a chaste kiss on my lips before rolling off the side of the bed.

Asshole.

“I don’t want to go to the gym,” I whine, knowing the only reason I’m putting up a fight is because if I’m there, while Bastian is hot and sweaty and inevitably takes his shirt off, it won’t be developmental psychology I’ll be studying.

It’ll be anatomy.

“Just let me stay here. Who is going to walk into the west wing on a weekend?” He knows as well as I do that is one rule nobody dares to break.

“You know we can’t do that, spawn. Getting a handle on your magic doesn’t mean we’re letting you out of our sight.” That’s been part of the problem. Don’t get me wrong, being with them has been amazing, but sometimes I feel suffocated, like I don’t even know who I am anymore without them.

It’s sickening, really. Before coming here I only had to depend on myself and now I seem to be teetering on the edge of codependency.

I release a weighted sigh, wondering if it’s worth picking a fight. “Bastian. The gym is literally the next floor up. I think I’ll be able to manage a couple of hours without a guard dog.”

“We’re suffocating you?” he asks, as if my previous thought just caught up to him.

“Not like that, I—” I exhale slowly through my nose, trying to figure out the right way to put this without coming off as ungrateful. “I appreciate you and the others so much, really. But I haven’t had a moment to myself. I’ve barely seen Moriah,” I mumble under my breath, but I know he can hear it clear as day.

He’s silent for what seems like an eternity. And it’s really unfair he has complete access to my thoughts while I’m kept in the dark. “You’ll stay here?”

I try to keep my composure the same, even though, deep down, I’m bursting with excitement. “Yes, Warden.”

He smirks, and it makes me question for a second why I want him to leave. “Careful, I might like the sound of that too much to resist.”

My shoulders slump even though the arousal pooling in my underwear would disagree with my protest. “Come on. Two hours. That’s all I’m asking for.” I bat my eyelashes for emphasis.

“Fine. But if I hear that you were out wandering the halls, Miss Calder, I might be forced to put you in restraints.” The gleam in his eye tells me he secretly hopes to find me anywhere except in this room when he gets back.

I’m curious if he’ll send one of the others anyway, but maybe he won’t so he doesn’t have to share me when he returns. He grabs a towel from the bathroom, and once I hear the front door close, I spring into action.

Each of the guys has cleared out a drawer and closet space for me, which is nice that while I’m in each room I have somewhere to put my things instead of living out of a busted suitcase.

Tucked away in my drawer, beneath my underwear—which has strangely started to diminish—and a few pairs of my leggings, is my mirror. Granted, I’ve wanted some time alone to just be but being around Bastian means I have to pick and choose what crosses my mind. Never knowing what the hell he’s going to latch onto, I didn’t want him to figure it out, or tell the others that I’ve been keeping a secret of my own.

Call me paranoid, but after I grab the grimoire, I head into the bathroom, making sure both the bedroom and bathroom doors are closed. Locking them would be too suspicious; I just hope if he returns earlier than expected, I’ll hear him and hopefully be able to hide the evidence.

Settling into the far corner of the bathroom, I make sure to keep my back pressed against the wall and keep the door within my sights. The gold ornate baroque frame brings me a sense of comfort, remembering all the times I saw my mother with it growing up. It’s the last thing I have of her. The only thing she owned she really cared about.

I thought it was strange when I found it in my things after my mom dropped me off at Aunt Tessa’s. Maybe if I would’ve noticed it sooner, I would have known something was off, and then they would still be here. Tears brim my eyes, remembering the last time I saw my mom and dad, how it was such a normal day, nothing to give away the tragedy that was about to strike.

Flipping through the grimoire, I search for something, anything that might give me some answers. There are dozens of pages between the one I went over with Eldritch, and the one I end up on. Another drawing of the mirror is plastered on the paper, this time in intricate detail. I wouldn’t be surprised if this was the blueprint for its creation.

The script gives me a headache just looking at it. To anyone else, I imagine, it would be nothing more than ink. Angular strokes that don’t resolve into any alphabet I’ve ever studied before coming here, symbols that seem to shift the longer I stare, refusing to hold still long enough for me to be certain.