Page 39 of Dandelions and Smoke

We go back to sitting quietly, waiting. After three hours, Rory falls asleep, using me as her personal pillow, and I’m more than happy to be. I could see the worry hitting her in waves. It looked as though she walked herself in and out of multiple anxiety attacks, all while sitting in the seat beside me. If Apple watches tracked the bouncing up and down of someone’s legs, then Rory would have run a marathon. Having her asleep beside me now has done wonders for my own nerves. My heart clenched every time she’d squeeze my hand, knowing there wasn’t anything I could say or do to make the time pass faster.

Luckily, Levi sends out a group text shortly after Rory falls asleep, letting us know they are in the clear and staying a little longer for more assessments and observations. With this new information, everyone begins discussing a plan for how to surprise Tris and save Friendsgiving, knowing how important it is to her. As I’m considering waking Rory, Ainsley shakes her head.

“Thank God ya’ll figured this out,” she says, relief coating her words.

“I mean, I don’t know if I’d say that,” I say honestly, my heart sinking as I think about how, after today, Rory could still change her mind.

“I would,” she says, smiling as she looks at Rory with affection, the way an older sister would. “Let her sleep. Usually, the only one she naps on is Tris.”

“Not you?” I ask, genuinely interested in this friendship dynamic that they have going.

“Don’t get me wrong,” she says, a smile filling her face. “We’re all close as sisters, but Rory’s our glue. Everybody needs somebody,” she says as though it’s something she’s recalling. “And because of her, the three of us have each other.” She pauses, her eyes glistening as they flick to the hallway door that leads to Tris. She clears her throat of the emotion stuck inside. “But I reckon Tris makes a better pillow.”

I try not to laugh as I imagine what she’s saying. “Maybe it’s like sleeping on the cold side of the pillow. Didn’t the guys call Tris Ice Queen?”

Ainsley rolls her eyes but grins. “She’s come a long way.”

A beat passes, and I finally build up the courage to ask her what’s been going through the back of my mind.

“What if I can’t be everything she deserves?” I say, exhaling slowly.

Ainsley’s head tilts as her expression warms, the corners of her mouth lifting softly as she looks between Rory and me. “Sometimes just being there is enough.”

Something like recognition flashes between Ainsley, Emma, Callie, and Della, as though there’s a precious secret being shared between them all.

I shift my gaze back to Rory, and I know it’s true. As long as she lets me, I’ll be here, and there isn’t anything in this world that can change that.

NINE

RORY

We were finally given the go-ahead after what felt like an eternity of waiting. I had only napped for a short while, but by the time I woke up, I was minutes away from bobbing and weaving around security just to check on Tris myself. It wouldn’t be the first time in my twenty-two years that I would have had to pull a fast one, but that’s neither here nor there.

The second I burst into Tris’s room, she promised me that she’s not that easy to get rid of. That’s definitely something that I believe wholeheartedly, but the thought of losing her is more than I can handle. She’s become a part of me in such a way that losing her would feel like losing a piece of myself. I can’t even say that losing my mother hurt that badly because deep down I always knew I would.

I’m still unsure whether laying it all out the way I did for Chief was the brightest of ideas, but I wasn’t exactly thinking. Everything boiled over, and it felt as though, if I didn’t get all my thoughts out of my head immediately, then I was going to explode. I’ve been thinking that if he sees these parts of me—the pieces of my past that I push down and push past, and the person I really am outside of my top-tier sense of humor—then he’ll think differently of me. But remembering the way he looked at me outside his truck, and right now as we sit around the Friendsgiving table surrounded by all our friends, in his eyes there’s nothing but adoration.

With every graze of his hand, every passing glance he steals when he thinks I’m not looking, my heartbeat quickens. His gaze sends a ripple through my body, and all I want is to be closer to him. Since the hospital, I’m not sure there’s been a single second where he or I haven’t been touching, even if it’s as innocently as holding hands. I know my friends notice by the glances and small smiles they wear.

Heat floods my cheeks as I try to hide and dampen my enthusiasm, but it’s no use. Tris has already thrown me her raised brow, which is as good as yelling across the room I told you so. I’m also pretending not to notice the way my brother has been glaring at Chief all night. Instead, I’m choosing to stay in this moment with him and enjoy how, despite the way the day started, it’s turning out to be a spectacular night.

Watching Ainsley and Callie work together to save the night was like watching two master conductors lead the same symphony. They directed all of us in such synchronicity that while none of us could see their separate visions, neither of them ever missed a beat. Somehow it came together perfectly. Callie swears by fairy lights that now blanket the room in a soft glow. The light catches on the greenery and yellow sunflowers Ainsley draped along the walls. She’s even matched the dishes and drinkware as a finishing touch. We all worked to keep the food hot so that everything would be ready when Tris arrived. The look on her face was everything—shock mixed with disbelief that gave way to pure joy. She deserves a happy Friendsgiving. She’s earned it.

“What are you thinking about?” Chief whispers into my ear, leaning in so that his breath feels warm as it moves down my neck and sends a tantalizing shiver down my spine.

“I can tell you that whatever it was, I’m definitely not thinking about it anymore,” I tease, biting my lip as heat travels down my body.

Something sinful flashes in his eyes before he schools his expression. “Now I really want to know what you’re thinking.”

“I could demonstrate.” I shrug, feigning innocence as I turn my attention away, acting nonchalant while he absorbs that, enjoying how easy this is.

His hand slides slowly from my knee and up the inside of my thigh, stopping dangerously close to my center before he squeezes my thigh, making me gasp as he leans back in.

“I’d really enjoy that,” he whispers.

I shift in my seat, trying to relieve some of the pressure that’s building between my thighs, hoping that the dim lighting is hiding the heat that now floods my cheeks. Beside me, Chief clears his throat, masking his amusement.

This man!