Page 47 of Cold Mercy

“You’re walking, big problem,” I shoot back. “And I’m done. I’m done fighting for someone or because of someone. I don’t have the energy to keep explaining myself to you, Reed. Find another fucking person to unload on.”

He steps in front of me, blocking the path, refusing to let me pass. The frustration in his eyes is warring with something that looks painfully like regret.

“I know I said too much the last time,” he says, his voice low, rushing out before I can cut him off. “I know I was cruel that morning. I didn't mean to hurt you, Sophia. I was trying to—”

“To what?” I interrupt, my voice shaking. “To put me in my place? To remind me I’m delusional? To prove that I’m too stupid to see the truth right in front of my eyes?

I take a sharp breath.

“I know that, Thomas. It’s a little late for apologies now.”

“It wasn’t about you being delusional or stupid!” he snaps, then forces himself to lower his voice, running a hand over his face. “It was my fucking ego, okay? That’s the truth.”

I stare at him, stunned into silence.

He takes a step closer, his gaze intense, stripping away the layers of defense I’m trying to hold up.

“I woke up next to you, and for the first time in years, I felt something that wasn't just survival. I felt good. And then you looked at me and shut it down like it cost you absolutely nothing, like I was disposable.”

He lets out a harsh breath, shaking his head.

“It pissed me off. I hated that you could walk away so easily when I was already drowning, so I lashed out. I wanted to hurt you before you could hurt me. That’s it. That’s the ugly truth.”

My chest tightens. “You think it was easy for me?” I whisper.

“If not, then why are you doing it again?” he demands.

“Because every time someone gets too close, everything goes to shit. You don't want this, trust me.”

Thomas laughs, a rough, incredulous sound that scrapes against the silence. He steps closer, crowding me, his presence heavy and suffocating.

“So now you get to decide what I want?” he says. “You don’t get to tell me how I feel. That’s bullshit.”

He grabs my upper arms, not hurting me, just anchoring me to him, forcing me to look at the cracks in his composure.

“You....” He shakes his head, eyes dark and intense. “You’re a risk I can’t stop taking. I survived by being disciplined, by following rules. And you walk in and burn the rulebook just by existing. I give a shit when I shouldn’t, and I can’t even tell you what that means, except that it’s driving me fucking insane.”

Invite him in, let the chaos start, he wants to play with a broken heart. Show him the madness, the dark, and the tear. Let’s see how much of us he can actually bear.

My brain is screaming at me to run. To walk away and never look back at the beautiful, broken mess standing in front of me. But my body? My body is leaning toward him like he’s gravity. He talks about drowning like it’s a choice he’s willing to make, and for a terrifying second, I want to let him drag me under just to see if he’s telling the truth.

I look away, blinking rapidly to clear the blur in my vision.

“I can’t,” I say, breaking. “I really can’t. I shouldn’t have let you get close. Just… let it go. For fuck’s sake, Thomas, just let it go.”

Silence stretches between us, thick and heavy. The heat between us vanishes, replaced by a sharp, cold anger that feels entirely defensive. I can practically see him putting his armor back on, the vulnerability from a moment ago gone as if it never existed.

“Fine,” he bites out. “If pretending I don’t exist keeps you functional, then knock yourself out.”

He takes a step back, his eyes hard, looking at me like a stranger.

“But don’t fucking kid yourself, Sophia, you’re not protecting anyone. This is you running, like you always do.”

✽✽✽

The files blonde dug up didn’t change a damn thing.

Nothing in them surprised me. No revelations, no missing pieces clicking into place. Reed’s ‘help’ was unnecessary, and that's me speaking softly. The difference is that now someone else knows things I never intended to share.