Page 59 of Breakaway Hearts

“Welcome to—hey man!” The guy who greets us at the door’s face lights up when he sees Jason, before he sends his friend off and starts a “Hargraves!” chant. I roll my eyes and try to slip into the background, to let Jason have his moment and shine, but he won’t leave my side. Honestly, I’m grateful.

Jason accepts a drink one of the rookies comes back with, then introduces me to Shawn Cooper, Miles Bennett, and a bunch of other players and people he must have met at the team dinner. Refills are brought as soon as his drink is half gone, but he doesn’t touch them, honoring his one drink limit, while I search for a potted plant to pour mine into. This doesn’t look as much like a frat house as I was expecting, and the only plant, which is across the room, is not a withering, forgotten receptacle for unwanted drinks, but a thriving orchid. It could be fake, I tell myself, which for some reason makes me feel better. I scour the room for Tab, waiting for her brother to show up and annoy me, but they’ve apparently gone on a supply run.

Jason wraps his arm around me every time I try to sneak off, and as much as I hate being in the center of attention with him, a lot of the guys seem to take it as him claiming me. Which will put a hitch into any dating plans Jay might have, but I don’t hate it. My online research when I wouldn’t leave my room after it happened showed that, statistically, you’re more likely to be raped by someone you know than a stranger, but those rapists are slightly less likely to target you if you ‘belong’ to someone they fear or respect.

When they finally give Jay a minute to breathe, he turns to me and asks, “House tour?”, whisking me off to a staircase before I have the chance to say yes.

There’s a group of guys playing video games at the bottom, and a couple making out in the corner, but she’s on top, seemingly in control, and he doesn’t look drunk when they come up for air.

“This is the video game room.” Jay shrugs, looking around the basement like he’s never seen it before.

“Thanks for the rescue,” I assure him.

“We mostly stayed on the main level and the backyard last time,” he explains. “We can head out as soon as Brooks gets back.”

“If you’re having fun, you can stay. I might even come pick you up so you don’t have to worry about drunk driving.” I look over to smile and let him know I would be absolutely fine with that, then continue my exploration. There’s a dance floor no one’s using with a bar and fridge, a full bathroom that looks cleaner than ours, and a laundry room.

“Do you think they do their own laundry, or is that also a rookie duty?” I ask, assuming the rookies at the door were stationed there to make sure only certain people are allowed in, or maybe just as some kind of hazing. It makes me grateful Jason didn’t join last year.

As I step in, the first thing I notice is a teal painted wall covered in names. Female names, divided into three sections. They’re written in sharpie, multiple messy guy’s handwriting, and I feel sick to my stomach. The only reason I can think of for them having this is some competition to sleep with the most girls, or…

“Oh, I heard of this,” Jay says, coming to stand beside me, then going closer to read.

“They told you…” I swallow, waiting for him to explain.

His face drops when he sees mine.

“It’s not that kind of list,” he promises. “I’m told it started when the last captain asked everyone to look out for this girl he wasn’t actually dating, then someone made a rule that his sister was off-limits, and they made a list to keep track of it. They’re all either dating a Wolf, related to a Wolf, or⁠—”

“Fair game?” I supply.

Jason gives me a look, but knows better than to disagree.

“None of that shit,” a player with sandy blond hair joins us, grabbing a stain remover pen as he says, “We protect everyone on principle – stuff like that doesn’t go down at our parties – but everyone on that wall is fam.”

He looks at the list while absently dabbing at his shirt.

“Benzy graduated before his sister started, but he wanted to make sure she had someone looking out for her, so he put her name on the wall before he left, and if anything happens, he knows we have her back.”

I’m about to point out that’s exactly what I’d accused them of, but he adds, “If a girl is drunk or looks uncomfortable, we keep an eye on her and make sure she’s okay. We step in, every time. But if she’s on the wall, like Benzy’s sister, I’ll find her before I leave, make sure she has a ride, make her text me when she gets in safe. I’ll go to a Beta Pi party instead of a basketball game if I know she’s going alone…all the annoying things I’d do if she was my sister.”

“Donovan is one of our centers,” Jay tells me. “This is Madison.”

“Nice to finally put a face to the name.” He shakes my hand, but with a weird look to the wall instead of Jason. “I’ll leave you to it.”

Donovan replaces the stain remover and heads back upstairs while I make my way closer to the wall. I don’t know most of the girls, though I’ve seen a few of their last names on jerseys at the games. Tabytha has been written down and crossed out in two columns before being underlined in the middle one, with an asterisk that leads to a note at the bottom in nicer writing than anything else on the wall.

Can sleep with date whoever the fuck she pleases.*

*But you can watch from a distance to make sure she isn’t murdered if that makes you feel better.

I’ll ask her more about it, as I’m guessing she was the one who crossed herself off at least one of those times.

We go upstairs and find Tab is talking animatedly to a group of girls in matching pink shirts. I’m not looking for Owen, but he’s easy to spot in the middle of a crowd. There’s a beautiful girl with curly brown hair and an uncertain smile whose face lights up when she sees him. Not like he’s her next target, but like she was drowning at this party and he’s her buoy. Something in my chest goes tight, but I shake it off and make myself turn back to Jason when Owen takes the girl in for a hug, and she smiles like…like she belongs.

It’s not jealousy, because I don’t want Owen. It’s disappointment, because someone pursuing me as annoyingly as he is shouldn’t have a girl, even if she isn’t a girlfriend, who fits so well into his world. In his arms. Rude, is what it is. To both of us.

Jay’s the only person here I want to talk to, at least until Tab stops talking to the sorority recruiters, but I have no interest in the conversations he’s having. There’s only so many times I can agree that yes, he’s the greatest goalie who ever lived.