Page 27 of Breakaway Hearts

“You can hold it and sing, but that isn’t really the same thing,” she says with an apologetic pat on my arm.

“You used to be my favorite.”

“Owen, can you run back and get the first aid kit?” Sarah, my oldest sister, calls over as soon as I put down the crate. “We have the travel one here, but there’s a lock box in the ticket booth, so…”

“Do you want the whole doctor bag or just the EpiPens?”

She pretends to debate it, but I know Sarah likes to be prepared. Rachel thinks it’s because she thinks she could have done something if she’d been there the night their mom died, but we don’t talk about it, because as soon as Ray started taking psychology classes, Glass rules stated no one can psychoanalyze or diagnose anyone without their consent. Though, to be honest, Katie’s minor in psych had her asking more questions than Ray and Sarah combined.

I prefer to use the knowledge from my psych minor to secretly diagnose my family, then use it to my advantage. Haven’t figured out how yet, but I’ve got two years left.

In response, Sarah tosses me her keys.

“Can I come?” Julie asks.

“Of course.” I hoist her onto my shoulders. “Want to join us?” I ask Gabriel, her older brother, who has been watching us. He looks like he wants to, but he has two sisters, and one of them just discovered the ball pit, so he shakes his head and follows her, but not before giving me a look that says I’m dead if anything happens to Julie.

“So just the hockey team?” Julie brings back our previous discussion.

“I think we’re expecting about a hundred more people.” I can feel her deflate onto my shoulders. “But if there’s anyone you don’t want to see, for whatever reason, just let me know and they’re gone.”

“Even if they’re bigger? And mean? And usually angry?” she asks quietly.

“You’re safe here, Julie. If anyone makes you uncomfortable, if they’re mean or even just look angry, you tell me, or yell out my name, and I promise I’ll keep you safe.” I know better than to promise something like that when the monster isn’t an imaginary one who lives under her bed, but I can’t help it. It’s the biggest reproach I get from the time I spend here.

“What if you can’t hear me?” Julie asks like she knows she’s got me.

I take out my phone and snap a selfie of her on my shoulders. Then I make a voice note for the team chat so she can hear it.

“Hey guys, I’m sure you all remember Julie. If not, she’s a very awesome backpack, an excellent drawer, and gives the best hugs. If you see her looking upset, or if she calls out my name, we drop everything and take care of her. Capisce?”

“Did you send that to the whole hockey team?” Her eyes are wide.

“All the cool players,” I agree, though I’m pretty sure everyone on the roster is in that group. Even Redding. “Look, Chris already has your back.”

I show her his response.

Donovan

Jules is the best. On it, Cap.

“How come you call him Donovan?”

“Hockey players often use last names,” I explain.

“So I would be Holt?”

“I think you might be Mini Holt. Or Baby Holt.”

“Because Gabe is the one who plays?”

“He does? Hockey?”

“I don’t think I was supposed to tell you.”

Mrs. Davidson told me that Gabriel only asks for things for his sisters, or his mother, and insists he’s fine whenever she tries to help him.

“I won’t tell,” I assure her.