Page 159 of Breakaway Hearts

“I just ruined any chance she had for that internship.”

“You lost your cool,” Mike says with understanding, but also like it’s something I shouldn’t do, and he expected better from me.

“She hasn’t written back?” Dave asks.

“Why the fuck would she?” I wish I had a time machine. Only I’d go back to two years ago and punch Trevor then instead, before he could hurt her. Not when it just adds to her trauma. “I’m an idiot if I thought I could handle this. I’ve broken the team, I hurt Mads when I wanted to protect her, probably lost us Jason…”

“Is that her?” Donovan asks when my phone dings.

“Just Coach,” I share. “Wants me back at 9 a.m.”

“What do you think he’ll do?” Colt asks.

“Suspend me. Expel me. I don’t know.”

“I can⁠—”

“Don’t,” I warn. “Whatever it is, I deserve it.”

I drop the guys off at Ivy and am about to head to Maddie’s apartment when I see her running across Miss Mabel’s lawn.

I’m out of the car before she reaches me and jumps right into my arms.

Warmth spreads through my chest the second I feel her heartbeat against mine.

“Are you okay? Did he hurt you?” she asks, lifting up my t-shirt.

“Am I okay?” I laugh like she’s gone insane. “I’ve been worried sick about you. I’m so sorry.” I tuck her hair behind her ear to get a better look at her face, letting my hand linger against her cheek. “Maybe not for punching him, but I shouldn’t have done it like that, in front of you, defending your honor in a way that just made things worse. I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry I put you in that position.”

Fuck, the last thing I want is her feeling guilty on top of everything.

“It’s not your fault, Mads.” I pull away just enough so I can look into her eyes and make sure she believes me. “I fucked up, this has nothing on you.”

Chapter Seventy-Two

Madison

Safe space

My entire nervous system calms down the second I get a whiff of his body wash. I breathe him in, and for the first time, acknowledge that I feel safe with him. Not like I’m okay with him hurting me, or I know it’s coming, but like I’d feel safer in a room with him than behind a locked door on my own. That I’d mostly given up on the idea of a husband and kids, because I couldn’t imagine ever trusting someone so much as to allow them that kind of access to my children – other than Jason – but Owen makes me want those things again. With him. And while the whole thing is still terrifying, I’m not so afraid as I am hopeful. Maybe even excited.

“You shouldn’t have punched him,” I concede. “Not that he didn’t deserve it; I’m sure it wasn’t unprovoked.”

“It doesn’t matter. Jason told me, and I still…You don’t want a hot-tempered violent jerk, you need someone you can feel safe with and I⁠—”

I kiss him, to shut him up, yes, but mostly because he’s so wrong.

“What I need,” I say, doing that thing where I wait for him to look at me, “is you. When…it happened, I resigned myself to not trust anyone. Even when I said yes to you, a big part of me was still expecting you to betray me.”

“I would never hurt you, Maddie. Never let anyone do that to you.”

“I know. Which was scary when all I had to go on was that the last person I trusted tricked me so good I couldn’t trust anyone. But you’re not like Trevor. You wouldn’t have been in that room,” I say with confidence. I never saw Trevor assault anyone before that night, but I never saw him do anything to prevent it and show he was a safe space, either. “Not just that you wouldn’t have done it to me, or wouldn’t have been invited, or would have left…you would have stopped it. You go out of your way to make your home a safe space for everyone, whether they’re on the wall or sober or purposely trying to get naked. You drop everything to help get a drunk stranger home. And you hold all the guys on your team to that same standard. You don’t just not assault people, Owen, you protect them. I’m sorry it took me so long to trust that.”

“It kills me that he did that to you. Not just the not trusting me, but not trusting yourself…I will spend the rest of my life making sure you never have to question it.”

“I read that love is giving someone the power to hurt you but trusting that they won’t…and I trust you, Owen. Not just to keep me safe from assholes or not to hurt me. I trust you with my heart. With everything.” I pause, so he knows I’m not just caught up in the emotion. “I love you.”